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For most of the students, economics is a strange and unheard of as a dubject subject in high school. As students are busy taking basic requirements to graduate, they might don't not even have any time left to take an economics class. Also, they don't feel the need to actually learn that the subject. However, I personally think every high school students should learn basic economics because it gives them the concept of using and earning money. In addition, economics are used in everyday life so it might get handy.
To begin with, basic economics give them an idea about earning or spending money as a student. Before learning economics, students might not have a clue about how money circulates in the society and what should be done if there are economic problems. When students are younger, they usually get allowances from their parents and use them to buy goods for them. They might not have a clear idea how to use them or where did it came from. When students learn basic economics, they will learn about the system of circulation of money and the banking system so they know how money can be saved and used. [여기서 저 같은 경우는. When students learn basic economics, they will learn about the system of circulation of money and the banking system. Therefore, they know how money can be saved and spent. 이렇게 두 문장으로 나누셔도 좋을 거 같습니다.] It is essential for them students[여기서 them이나 they가 자주 나오는 거 같아서 가끔씩 they 나 them이 누군지 리더가 안 헷갈리게 다시 언급해주시면 좋을 거 같습니다.] to learn these basics of life because economics is involved with every situation. That's why students, who are old enough to be responsible with their money, should learn economics in order to better conduct conduct better with money in their lives.
On top of that, economics are used in everyday lives. Even time is money for someone. In the future, people in businesses need to meet clients' demand and supply them with those[여기서 확실히 구분시켜주셔야 합니다]. Knowing economics is always useful because the situation is usually involved with money. Learning about how to deal with money and situations is not the bad idea to prepare them for the future. Also, even if a student's major is completely different from economics, for example, modern arts, he/she still needs to learn a little about economics in order to know the market prises prices of the painting or his/her own painting. For every majors major, every students or business men, economics is the one subject that ties all of us.
Because basic economics can give students a an understanding about money and help them in the future, students in high school should learn basic economics as a requirement. All in all, it never hurts to learn a subject as necessary as economics.
전체적으론 잘 쓰셨는데요, Use money 보다는 Spend money라고 표현을 더 자주 한답니다. 에세이를 쓰실 땐 똑 같은 단어들을 최대한 적게 쓸려고 하시면 더 좋을 거 같습니다. (ex. might not have a clue, might not have a clear idea). 그리고 so 같은 단어들보다는 이 사이트에 나오는 단어들을 쓰시면 좋을 거 같습니다.
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