▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether cars have more influence on human society than air planes do. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different relying on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that plane has more impact on people's life(lives) for the following reasons. This is because first, this allows people to widen their point of views and second, this helps people to get rid of stress.
First of all, It is very advantageous for people to trip to(travel) abroad because this makes people to broaden perspectives. To be specific, traveling abroad through air plane creates opportunities for people to experience other nations(cultures), which as a result allows people to(have a ) better understand(ing of) other cultures, life styles, and outlooks. In(As the) modern society is increasingly becoming (increasingly) globalized, today's world requires people with a strong understanding of international views as well as a network necessary in leading a successful life. For instance, Steve Jobs, who is the founder of Apple made great accomplishments in his life time. I read online that he was successful because he was global minded and culturally sensitive. He did this by consistently making an effort to traveling abroad and meeting people foreigner.(from other countries/cultures) Therefore, it is legitimate to say that Air planes is more important in our lives since it makes people to understand other cultures.
In addition, Traveling abroad using plane is very helpful because this helps reduce stress and restore health. In fact, this allows people to enjoy their vacation and forget about their worries, which makes people to relieve stress, maintain health, and build a quality life. Stress is the main cause of disease, shorter life span, and a dissatisfying life in general. As such, people in modern society should actively find ways to manage stress and stay health(y). For example, when i was young, I went to Hawaii for vacation. This was my first trip (to) abroad. I couldn't believe my eyes because of exotic scene and great land scape. Through this experience, I realized that (taking a ) trip to abroad allows me to forget about the stressful aspect of my life such as obligations, tasks, and projects. Thus, it shows that it is critical to outweigh air planes than auto mobile in order to fulfilling life and dealing with stress. 토픽과의 연결고리를 조금 더 강하게 해 주세요. 여행과 스트레스에 관련된 내용만 나왔는데, 비행기가 이 "해외여행"을 과거에 비해서 얼마나 더 편리하게 만들어주고, 이로인해서 사람들의 삶의 질이 어떻게 더 윤택하게 되었는지에 대한 내용이 없습니다. 과거와 비교하시는 편이 좋으실듯.
All things considered, My argument (regarding) this topic has been precisely and effectively delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future,
Overall Score: 19-21 /30 take a trip = travel 입니다. 위에서 말씀드렸다시피, 두번째 본론이 약합니다. 수고하셨습니다~
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