■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Imagine you could improve the town where you live by changing one important thing about it. Which if the followinf you choose to do -Build additional libraries -Construct more parks -Improve public transportation |
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▶ Your Answer : Various opinions may exist over which policy is the best for our city. With respect to this subject at hand, many people are likely to think that it is necessary to build more parks or libraries because people enjoy their time in those areas. That being said, from another point of view, alleviating traffic jam with improving the public transportation could be more likely to have a lot of benefits to citizens. I also have the same idea on the matter with some certainty for the following two persuasive reasons. To begin with, given the time people spend commuting, constructing or improving public transportation helps them save the bulk of time they spend on the street. In a sense, people will be able to have more chances to do other things such as taking a rest, sleeping 30 minutes more instead of waiting for their turn to go in the street. This effect of good public transportation system will make people feel more convenient. There was a poll conducted by the Ministry of Traffic with 500 workers in Seoul as respondents. The purpose of this survey was to ascertain the difficulties when they have made a living in the town and the result was intriguing. An overwhelming 80 percent had responded that traffic congestion was one of the worst problems (one of the 복수명사) they had. They said that about an average of two (아라비아 숫자를 지양해주세요.) hours had been wasted during commuting and also they had been already exhausted even before reaching to their companies. This result corroborates aforementioned assertion that public transportation should be reorganized in many ways.
On top of that, air pollution will be diminished dramatically by improving the transportation system that draws many people to use public one. As we know, car produces a lot of chemical substances that are harmful to people. Therefore, in order to reduce the use of private vehicle in a city, advanced public transportation system should be suggested and this system can draw many people to take public transportation rather than take their private cars. To illustrate this, I will explain my experience as an example. When I was a college student, I went to my school with taking a subway. However, since there was only one subway line in my town, I felt (시제 -> 과거) uncomfortable to go to other places except for my school. I started to think about buying a small used car, searching the website for buying car. However, the provincial government announced the plan for constructing the new subway line, so I decided to postpone my plan to have my own car in that days. Had it not been for the plan for building the new subway line, there would have been more cars in my city and the environment condition would have been exacerbated attributable to the increases of private cars.
In a nutshell, it (대소문자 구분) hardly comes to the convincing conclusion everyone agrees with, However, taking the two reasons described above into consideration, it (대소문자 구분) is clear-cut that many people will get benefits from improving the public transportation system. |
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1. 이유 두 가지는 잘 쓰셨습니다. (통학시간 단축과 대기오염)
2. 사소한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다.
꼼꼼하게 proof-reading을 해주시기 바랍니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*