▶ Your Answer : Some
people contend that sports in universities should be invested by financial
support as much as libraries. However, in my opinion, universities do not have
to expend more money in sports than libraries for the following two reasons.
To
begin with, much more students in universities can benefit from the educational
facilities than sports facilities like gymnasium. Universities, as institutions
of higher education, have a responsibility to make academic atmosphere and infrastructure.
Most students go to universities to learn and research their major. They
usually study in the libraries which can represent the universities’
educational environment and level. However, sports including ball games, ground
activities and health training are important but too confined for fewer
students just who like physical activities and whose major are about sports. The
students in the universities that concentrate on their libraries surely be more
satisfied than the ones in universities with expensive sports facilities.
On
top of that, the investment of universities on sports do not have high mean expectancy
of output. A good library in universities can enhance their students’
educational level and be a fundamental place for making academic research
output. However, if the sports teams of universities fail to annual tournament
nevertheless of much investment, the universities can have adverse effect on
their finance. For example, four years ago, a new basketball stadium was
constructed for the basketball team of my university. After construction, it
have been expected that the team pass regional preliminary round. But the team still
have not gone to higher stage and the interest on basketball in my university
also have diminished. It means that the financial support on sports of universities
is dangerous.
To sum up, big budget for sports in universities can not gratify a lot
of students, and it sometimes make negative effect. In this regard, I firmly
believe that universities should invest more money on libraries than sports.
주장이 아주 clear하게 잘 전달되는 편입니다. 이에 대한 supporting detail도 아주 잘 써주신 편이며, 문장의 연결이 아주 자연스러워 읽기에 아주 좋았던 것 같습니다. 따로 고칠 문법적인 오류는 거의 없고, 어휘도 잘 맞게 써주셨습니다. 다만 어휘가 조금은 반복되는 것 같습니다. (financial support같이 많이 나오는 어휘는 한번씩 monetary support이렇게 바꿔서 작성해주시는 것도 큰 도움이 됩니다) |