■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have friends who are similar to you than those who are different from you.
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▶ Your Answer : Some people think that it is better to have friends who are similar than those who are different from them. However, I believe that it is more beneficial for (전치사) people to spend time with friends who are different from them. This is because having friends who are different from them enables people to be open-minded and helps people enjoy a better quality of life.
First, hanging out with different person enables people to develop tolerance (품사). Understanding developing tolerance and the potential role of hanging out with different people is necessary to substantiate this view. As each person (Each + 단수명사) has a very different lifestyle and habits, people who have friends who are different from them, they can realize that every person is different and this is not a strange thing. Therefore, people can have opened-mind to accept differences between many people. Thus, hanging out with different people can make them to be open-minded people.
Second, spending time with different people enables people to enjoy better quality of life. This is because for example, for people who have different hobbies, they can share their hobbies together and this makes them to try and experience many things. In this regard, people can get some useful knowledge and find (오타인 것 같습니다) some new opportunities. For these reasons, spending time with different people can lead them to enjoy better quality of life.
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첨삭부탁드립니다...
감사합니다 :)
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 문법이 굉장히 불안정한 상태입니다.
일단 기본적으로 전치사에 대한 이해가 상당히 부족하신 것 같습니다.
그리고 단어를 외우실 때 품사를 꼭 외우시고, 품사에 따라 단어가 어떻게 변하는지도 살펴봐주세요.
수 일치 (단수복수)는 특히 유의해주세요.
3. 그리고 지금 결론이 빠져있습니다.
conclusion은 상당히 중요한 에세이 구성 요소이니 꼭! 넣어주세요. ^__^
수고하셨습니다. *^^*