It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
Some people may argue that it is better to gain knowledge from experience than books. However, I staunchly believe that books are an incomparable source of gaining knowledge in that it is much more efficient to obtain knowledge from books than experience, and reading books can give a person knowledge that is related to a variety of different fields of human life.
First of all, reading books is a more efficient way of gaining knowledge. To explain, people can save their time and money that would be spent on physical experience by reading books to gain the same knowledge which experience may also give them. 시간과 비용 면에서 더 효율적이라는 설명이 사례와 함께 잘 연결되어 있습니다. 뒷부분의 밑줄 친 내용(이미 경험한 사람의 지식이 써져 있는 것이기 때문에 따로 더 경험할 필요가 없어 편하다는 설명)도 사례 이전에 먼저 제시해서 사례로 설명 내용을 증명하는 형태로 구성하는 편이 더 좋을 것 같아요. For example, traveling abroad takes a huge amount of expense and inconvenient procedures. An archaeologist, who wants to visit a place of historic interest in another country, may have to endure a great amount of money of carrying bulky and expensive equipment for research and time consumed in traveling abroad. However, books can provide abundant knowledge and valuable information about the historic place without any inconvenient experience. It only takes the archaeologist a little time finding books in library. 적절한 내용의 사례입니다. Moreover, all the knowledge that is written in a book may be an advice from the writer who already experienced similar situation that a reader is confronting. Accordingly, one can prevent bad results of experience from happening in advance by learning what is to come from books.
In addition, people can gain knowledge about a variety of different fields. Experiences that one can meet with are usually limited to one’s background and position in society. Thus, if people obtained knowledge only from experience and neglected books, the possibility that they are possessed by stereotypes might be high. This is because they do not have enough experience of dealing with others’ knowledge that is different from theirs. On the contrary, as books contain knowledge written by a lot of different writers from various fields and distinct positions, it provides knowledge which can never be obtained merely from experience. 다양한 분야의 여러 종류 지식을 섭렵함으로써 결과적으로 '시야가 넓어진다'라는 장점이 주제로 부각되면 좋을 것 같아요. 단순히 여러 분야의 지식을 얻어서 좋다는 표현보다 stereotype에 갇히지 않고 세상을 보는 관점이 풍부해진다는 이점을 강조해주면 설득력을 더 높일 수 있지요. 여러 분야의 지식을 얻을 수 있다는 '책'의 특성에 대한 진술보다는 '책을 통해 지식을 얻으면 시야가 넓어져서 좋다'하는 식의 주제문(첫 문장)으로 이점을 강조하고, 책이 여러 분야에 대해 다루는 데 비해 경험은 개인의 환경에 따라 제한적이라는 설명을 비교해서 전개할 수 있습니다. 경험으로부터 오는 지식과 비교하면서 논리를 구성한 부분들은 아주 좋습니다. To give a simple example of this, it is hard for men to know how women feel in a certain situation in that it is impossible for them to experience a life as a woman. However, reading books of women writers can be a convenient and efficient way to know what it feels like to be a woman. In this respect, books may prevent people from being influenced by their prejudices. 주장을 뒷받침하기에 알맞은 사례입니다.
In conclusion, without a doubt, I strongly believe that knowledge gained from books is more valuable than that from experience. The underlying logic behind my opinions is that knowledge from books can prevent people from being obsessed with stereotypes, and it also covers the fields that people may not be able to deal with in their own lives. All in all, the undeniable importance of knowledge from books cannot be underestimated.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Good (24–30)
논제에 대한 이해도가 높고 나의 입장을 뒷받침하기 위한 idea들이 좋습니다. '두 종류의 지식을 비교하라'고 요구했던 부분도 충족시키고 있고요. 주장을 강조할 수 있는 부분이나 논리 흐름과 관련한 부분들을 코멘트해두었으니 검토해주시기 바랍니다. 충분히 실전에서도 좋은 점수 받으실 수 있을 것 같아요^^ 수고 많으셨습니다. 화이팅!