Obviously, (Do not use
Obviously in the essay) I believe most important thing both in personal
life and today's society is "Education". In other word(s), it is very important matter that who takes position in teaching
(teaches). Therefor(e),
for betterment of future society, and to became responsible social members,
people especially young people should get professional education based by (on) knowledge
and wisdom.
(Many of the words in this paragraph are
meaningless. You could write this paragraph in two sentences. Try to write
shorter sentences. It will make your essay neat.)
To begin with, some people might say parents is (have) suitable
position to educate young children. However, does
(do) parents has
(have) ability to teach all courses (knowledge) which
(will be) need(ed)
in children's future life? One of important character(s)
parents having (have) to their children is devoted love. And thus,
they seems too tolerance (tolerant), while most parents offer their advice, they
hope their children can living (live) easier and more compatibly
(by being compatible). not thing at all! (Sorry I cannot understand this sentence) In this
sence, the advice(s) given by parents are too
based by (on)
affection. Simply our old parents are not following now day's social
trends. (This sentence is grammatically wrong, but why
did you write this?) There for
(Therefore) these advice(s)
hinder our young generation's improvement and destroy future social
development.
(This paragraph could be improved by:
checking spelling, checking capitalization, and improving grammar, especially
noun-verb agreement. I read through the rest of the essay, and the other
paragraphs have the same problem. However, your points are well-supported. Nice
try!)
By the contrast, teacher are the best seat of
educator, advisor, and helper for young people.
Most of all ,nobody will deny that teachers was learn
new knowledge and experienced in wide field than younger people did
For instance, Teachers can help young students to
learn professional knowledge. Most important ting is teachers has great
abilitis to excavate student potential and precious talent.
This is because, they are professional in wild part .
That's why I believe that teachers are helpful educator than parents does.
All in all, personally I received much of parent love.
I received emotional investment from my parents. Based on this foundation I got
the professional knowledge and skills from diverse teachers. in addition my
teacher helped me find my telnet and identity. What's more present me perfect
methods to develop my potential. now, i can use my love and skills to
contribute social improvment,and create better qualities.