An ongoing debate exists on whether cars benefit our
society more than planes do. Regarding this controversial issue, I strongly
support that cars have a greater influence on our society than plane. This is
because cars run by (running on) electricity can improve the environment.
Additionally, society earn(s) more money from tourism
because of cars, not planes.
To begin with, cars run
by electricity (electric cars) have a
good effect on our environment. People who are concerned about our air pollution or irreversible (natural)
resources problems (depletion) strive to find alternative means for (of) transportation.
This contribution leads to produce the vehicles in the
favor of environment and it follows
protecting our environment. For instance, in Korea, one car company holds
competition for designing eco-motors every year. It can provoke the campaign to ask people to reduce air pollution. As a
result, cars combined with people(‘s) efforts
have positive effects on our society.
Furthermore, travelers using cars can move more conveniently
and cost-effectively so that society gain(s)
money from tourism. In most cases, expensive ticket for planes can restrict
people from having a trip. Even though people manage to pay tickets, they can
only choose the destinations that have airports. According to the report
released by Tourism Victoria, most travelers who visited Australia last year
state that they prefer traveling on cars to traveling by planes. They add that
when they traveling on their cars, they can enjoy their travel without concerns
about transportation cost. And they can go anywhere they want to go. As this
study appeals, cars are more useful to fulfill travelers' desire and thus it
makes more profit on society.
(Although your grammar is fair, I think your
points are not strong enough. They don’t necessary have to be as strong as
those of debate, but I had a constant doubt throughout reading the essay. Are cars
more efficient than planes? It’s not. People prefer to travel by car, but is it
really relevant to promoting tourism when airplane is a necessity rather than a
choice when it comes to the distant between continents? Since a writer also has
to take convincing reasons to point, carefully ponder your supporting details
before launching into writing.)
In a nutshell, I have no doubt that cars are better influencial to the society than planes. This is because people can reduce air pollution by inventing eco-friendly cars. What's more, cars increase the number of tourists and earn more money on society.