▶ Your Answer :
There is an argument over whether children should not make significant decisions by themselves. Some people believe that children must have the right of deciding to decide on their own. My view, however, is that children should not decide on their own perspective. alone. (alone은 단수형일때 쓸수 있는 부사입니다.) This is largely because their capacity of judgment is confined and their parents can help their children to make decision.
To begin with, as far as the ability of assessment is concerned, children are still immature. It is a well-known fact that children are shortsighted and unreasonable on the grounds that they are too young to rationally judge rationally. (동사를 꾸미는 부사는 동사 뒤에 오는것이 더 자연스럽습니다.) Sometimes they make decisions so quickly that it is they are too absurd and narrow-minded. According to a study conducted by a team of researchers at Harvard University, more than two-thirds of the surveyed children showed that they are limited to decide on their own. In this case, they decided made decisions in a short period time in comparison compared to other high school students. Also Moreover (also, and, or과 같은 단어는 에세이에서 문장의 첫머리로 좋은 표현이 아닙니다.) the study reveals that their decisions was were unrealistic and imaginary. In this regard, children are lack of lack the (lack은 명사나 동사로 쓰일수 있지만 형용사로는 쓰일수 없습니다.) ability to assess along circumstance.
On top of that, Parents parents can play a vital role in making decisions for their children. In general, parents' judgment is more rational and realistic than their children's. This is because parents have a wealth of experience and they have gone through a greater deal of events. Therefore, they are better able to give their children advice to make better choices for them. In my case, when I was an elementary school student, my mother always consulted with me and helped decide to make decisions about my works. Besides, my father assisted me set a goal and always heard listened to (고민을 들어주는 것은 heard보단 listened to가 더 적당합니다.) my anxiety, which encouraged me to rationally judge more rationally. Had it not been for their help, I might have had a hard time in my lifetime. As the example shows, parents can provide their child with more practical and pragmatic advice.
To sum up, I firmly argue that children should not establish judgment on their own on the grounds that they are limited to make decision. In addition, their parents are able to aid children to decide more reasonable. Truly, children can experience and build proper viewpoint to make reasonable decisions by bumping into the problems directly to derive the solution. However, with their parents' constant help and advice, they will be able to learn much faster and in an appropriate way. (일단 문단은 최소 3-4문장 정도로 이루어 지는게 좋습니다. 그리고 Conclusion에서 마지막엔 확실한 마무리를 지어 주는게 좋습니다.)
총 345자입니당 글자수가 많이 부족하네용!!
평가 부탁드려요 ㅠㅠ |