There have been
varying opinion(s) whether people should spend
their money on traveling rather than saving for the money or not. Some people argues that expending for the journey is more
important. However, I have (a) different idea. I
believe that saving money is (the) best
investment (for what?). This is because the more
saving money you do, the more
opportunity you will get.
To begin with(,) it is helpful for modern
people to saving(e) money steadily. In other words(,) saving money makes modern people planned (ahead). There is a
great basis supporting this idea. My school teacher who saving(ed) money
steadily when he was 25 years old. Since he
retired last year, (and) he could has been enjoying plentiful life (with his savings). This
acting (Saving also) leads to many profits.
And this profits have positive effects not just on the
if (one) self, but also on many other
matters such as stable life and worry-free (carefree)
life. For this reason, people have to saving(e) money steadily.
(The
essay started well, but I could feel that it lost stability by the middle of
first supporting paragraph both grammar and content wise. Be careful!!)
On top of that(,) if people do not saving(e) money, they will not be able to prepare for emergency
situations. Putting it differently, people get stable life through saving
money. A recent survey from Statistics Commission in United Nations revealed an
interesting result.(:) 95.7 percent of researcher (those surveyed),
(aged between) 20-30 years
people, think that the less saving
money they have (save), they more
(are at) unrest feeling
they have. This outcome is because not saving money brings out negative effect like as poverty. Through
survey's result, we can see that what's more is a reasonable choice, why we
should choose it, What today's social norms.
(This
essay totally lost its composition and grammar by the end of the second
supporting paragraph! Try to maintain the quality of the essay from the
beginning of the essay.)
To conclude integrating the positive and negative aspects mentioned above, I strongly believe that saving money is best invest for us.