"Digital Libraries"
The reading and the lecture both talk about digital libraries. The reading says that digital libraries offer users a number of benefits. However, the lecturer argues that digital libraries have serious drawbacks. (깔끔한 인트로입니다. 딱히 흠잡을 데가 없이 잘 써주셨어요~)
First, the reading says that anyone can easily access books wherever he or she is located using digital libraries. On the contrary, the lecturer disagrees with this argument. He claims that using digital libraries requires access to computer. For example, there are many poor people in the world who do not have a and many people of not having computer at home and, therefore, cannot access digital libraries in the world. Therefore, digital libraries' give the benefits are only given to a narrow group of people.
Secondly, in the reading, the author says/states/mentions(등으로 더 다양하게 써주실 수도 있어요~) that digital libraries save time (어떤식으로 시간을 절약해주는지 조금만 더 써주시면 좋겠습니다. save time going to libraries and looking for information in books..같은 식으로 리딩의 내용을 좀만 더 써주세요^^). In contrast, the lecturer counters this opinion. The counter argument is that there is too much information in digital libraries, so it is easy to waste time finding credible sources. Also, there is so many information result that is unreliable. That's because anyone can put information in digital form. Therefore, people need to waste time on checking it is needed to check many references in order to see if information is correct.
Final point made in the reading is that digital libraries help make the intellectual world more vigorous. However, the lecturer contradicts this point by stating that there are concerns over the intellectual copyright. No matter what kind of books they are, whole books are available online. It makes authors hard to earn money from their books, and they would be discouraged to write. So, it is probable that possible for the authors would not want to not to publish online.
Essay 0-30 score scale
Good (22~26)
총평:
전반적으로 잘 써주셨습니다. 템플렛을 이용하신 것 같은데, 주제의 내용과 잘 적용시켜서 써주신 것 같습니다. 단어 다양하게 써주셔서 좋았고, 문장력도 어느정도 좋으신 것 같으나, 문법 오류가 꽤 많이 보였습니다. 위에 체크해드린 부분 참고하시고 고쳐주시면 좋을 것 같아요~ 항상 에세이 작성 후에 3~4분 정도 에세이에 문법오류나 어색한 문장이 없는지, 빠진 내용이 없는지 검토할 시간을 남겨두시는 연습을 하시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 리스닝 내용도 디테일하게 잘 써주신 것 같아서 좋아요~
수고많으셨습니다 :)