It is often said that teachers have
to concentrate on delivering specified knowledge rather than doing their best
to get their students to obtain self-confidence. However, in their lives, the
advantage of the self-confidence far outweigh(s)
that of the amount of knowledge for the future for two reasons : they are
capable of enhancing their academic performance and finally succeeding in their
life.
(Your introduction – and I
presume, all the paragraphs that will follow – does not have significant
grammatical mistake but lacks succinctness. Use fewer words in a sentence to
make them clearer.)
To begin with, self-confidence
given by teachers enables students to increase their academic performance by
themselves. (WHY it is important to give confidence should be your topic
sentence.) This
is attributed to the fact that such self-esteem can serve as one of the key
motivators for students to perform better and improve themselves. With such
motivations, they will put in more efforts, concentrate better on tasks, and
feel more responsible for their work. According to a study conducted by Hanyang
University of Korea in 2009, there existed a huge difference between two groups
of students in achievements. Through lectures, students in group A were able to
get a help to elevate their confidence and those in group B were given
detailed information about major subjects (How is this
group a comparable to the first? I don’t see how.). The researchers
showed that the students in group A spent more hours studying by 25 percent and
performed higher than those in group B. In particular, they followed instructions,
submitted assignments on time, and participated actively in class discussion.
This implies that self-esteem raised by their teachers has a direct correlation
with the amount of efforts and energy into
(put to) studying, resulting in an enhanced
performance.
In addition, the high level of
confidence taught (given) by teachers allows students to be hired by honorable (renowned)
companies. This is due to the fact that as modern society is becoming
increasingly competitive, today's job markets require job candidates with self-confidence.
According to the Ministry of Labor of Korea in 2007, the self-confidence of the
applicants was the most important qualification for recruiting, taking up more
than 65 percent of the final calls. In the employment interview, the
interviewers tended to look at the applicants' personality, related to
self-confidence. This implies that teacher focusing on helping their students
attain such characteristics, (will help )
the students will be successful in
the future through being hired by famous companies.
In brief, in a short-term, it looks like that teachers are better off spending
most of their time on raising the students' knowledge. However, in a long run,
the student cannot succeed in life without confidence obtained (given)
by their teachers. As a (In) consequence,
the teachers had better assist their pupils (students)
in terms of enhancing their self-confidence, not
imparting (instead of passively delivering)
information.