It has been argued
among some people whether children can get more benefits when they are raised
in rural than when they spend their childhood in big cities. Although it is
true that growing up in urban (environment) enable(s) children to experience a lot of developed and
convenient things, I believe that children can grow as (into) a better person if they are raised in rural
area. In this essay, I am going to provide two examples supporting my idea.
To begin with, the
countryside can encourage children to have a lot of experience that they can
touch and interact with nature, which make them
keep (them) healthy. Children who stay in the
city have difficulty trekking, swimming and hiking. It is pretty hard for them (to) feel nature in the first hand, even if great environment is necessary for them to develop
their health. On the contrary, children who live in rural region are surrounded
by many beautiful
natures (nature
isn’t plural). They can experience a lot for (of) things
related to environment as a result (and) they have
more opportunity to have physically healthy attributes. According to recent
survey by BBC, children who grow up in the countryside achieve greater
performance in the physical activities than ones who live in city.
On the top of
that, city is relatively dangerous, however (whereas) the
countryside is very safe for (from) any crime
or accidents, so children can spend their childhood very safely. There have
been a number of criminal(s) that focus on
children recently. Children now are exposed to very dangerous things such as very fast car (speeding traffic) on the road or (and) drunken men (people) who are
likely do anything that we cannot expect in city.
In contrast, the countryside provides them with such a safe environment that
cannot be harmful to them. People who live in rural area are so nice and kind
that they are not threaten (to) children.
And also there is a little traffic on the road and there is no reason to hurry
in that kind of rural area. So the possibility that children can get accidents
in the countryside is much lower than one in the city.
To sum up, the
countryside enables children to grow up in the safe and healthy surroundings
and it really helpful for them to live and make their own world. Therefore I
certainly believe that it is more beneficial for children to grow up in the
countryside.
(This
essay is well written, although with some grammatical mistake. If you did not,
double check and proofread before handing in your essay. It will greatly
improve the quality of the essay. Good job!)
(Be sure to check
thoroughly your grammar at all times. Having too much grammar mistake is a
definite minus!!)
In conclusion, it is my belief that cooperation is more indispensible factor in current society rather than the past. It is heard in a news article that many people try to begin their own company, about 5% companies survive in markets after 10 years. If they put effort to cooperate with diverse people, the probability to succeed would be rise.