Some people think that these
days, students are
more care more
about politics than the past. (비교구문이 정확하지
않습니다.)
However, I disagree with them for two reasons concerning that the fact that
today’s students are more concerning about concerned
of fashion or self-development and nowadays politics are more stable
than the past.
To begin with, present young people are more rather
interested in how to wear nicely or in self-progression. For example, a
study was conducted by Kyobo bookstore which is the most
biggest book store in Korea.
They tracked change of sold books of 20s
from 1990 to 2015. (팔린 책의 ‘권수’, 또는 ‘장르’의 변화를
조사했다는 식으로 써 주셔야 합니다.) What they found was intriguing. In 1990, young people tended to buy more
books about politics over fashion.
However, now, it has changed. The fashion books and self-development books are
bestsellers. This is because TV programs or advertisements keep arousing to be fashionable and unemployment
rate is higher than ever before. (표현이
어색합니다.) This study obviously proves that students are less
interested in politics.
On top of that,
since politics
situation is relatively stable
compared to the past, students are caring cares more about other issues. (밑줄 친 부분의 표현이 어색합니다.) For example I will talk about my father's
experience to illustrate this point. When my father was at my age, 23, the government was
are very unstable. There were too many
cheating election and bad government workers. So every students at that era cared
about politics and participated in
demonstrations to make government go right on the track. However, now, we are
living in relatively stable world and ruled by established government. Thus, it
is so natural that young people in today's world change their interests to
other issues.
In this regard, I strongly hold that nowadays young generations are not interested in politics than they were in the past.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Limited – Fair (13-20)
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수고하셨습니다.