Parents
can help their children in various way(s). One
of them, as mentioned in a topic, is encouraging them to do a part-time job. It
is beneficial for the children because it makes their children to experience
society. Also, ear(n)ing money can help them to
understand this world's economy. For
these reasons, I agree with the topic.
First, as
I mentioned above, by helping (parents can help) their children to prepare for an
adult life by helping them to do a part-time job. This can enable those
children to realize the meaning of getting (a) job
in society. For example, by working and earning money, they can realize how
hard earning money is. This would motivate them to study harder to get a
better jobs. Since parents afforded them
(for their education and other expenses) for life time by working hard, they should now
teach them to work (Part-time job) when suitable time comes.
Second,
by earning money, their children can self-reflect
(reconsider) their way of spending money. Since
it is hard to earn money even though it is a part-time job, they will know the
importance of money. If parents don't encourage them to do those part-time job(s), their children might get lazy and lay around for a
whole day in a bed. To prevent these (this) type
of situation, I think it is effective to encourage children to get a part-time
job to prepare for an adult life. In short, by doing part-time job, children
can realize this world's economy.
For these reasons, Encouraging children to get a part time job is a best way that parents can do for their children.
(It’s nicely done! Except for a few grammatical mistakes that
are crucial, your idea was fairly comprehensible and neatly organized. However,
put for effort in differentiating your supporting details as some expressions
overlap, giving me an impression that the two reasons have been hastily
thought.)
(When the noun is singular, the verb must have an ‘s’ at the
end. Jogging is an action, and it’s singular. Otherwise, it’s a clear essay. I
also don’t feel that this essay is longer than it has to be. Nice work!)