High school students should be allowed to choose some of their classes.
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
Various opinions may exist over the argument that high school students should be allowed to choose some of their classes. As far as I am concerned, I totally disagree with the argument. The two ideas stated below can be valid evidence to support my view.
First, students should be learned many different subjects. During high school, this period is very important chance for students to find their aptitude or talents. But if school allows students to choose their classes, I certainly can say that students choose only interesting classes such as P.E and music or teachers who are liked by students. Most of students never choose boring mathematics or history. It is very bad for students to find their potential. 결과적으로 내가 주장하는 내용은 다양한 수업을 통해 적성을 찾는 데 도움을 받아야 한다는 부분이므로 이 내용이 문단의 중심내용에 가깝습니다. "학생들이 수업을 선택하게 두면 적성을 찾는 데 방해가 된다"하는 식으로 논제에 대한 답변이 될 수 있는 주제문을 첫 문장에 제시해주는 것이 더 적절합니다. 두괄식 문형에 맞게 구성하는 부분이 글 전체의 인상에 큰 영향을 줄 수 있으니 신경써두면 좋습니다. For example, my high school allowed allows students to choose one between science and or social study. I chose science and I never studied study social study when I was in high school. At that time, I thought it was is a very good system. But after graduating, I think I missed big chance to think whether I have potential at social study or not.
In addition, subjects that students learn in high school are necessary for students’ lives. These subjects are selected by forefathers or seniors who have experience in high school and life, and they judged these subjects are basic grounding for every person. Students can think studying all subjects is not efficient but for life, that thought can be changed. For instance, I studied physics in high school. I always had have questions about the reason for studying physics. However, now I realize the reason why I learned physics. That’s because physics is very important theory for everything such as measuring speed. 논점이 명확하지 않습니다. 고등학교 과목이 어떻게 선정되는지에 대한 설명이 아니라 <학생들이 자유롭게 몇몇 과목을 고를 수 있도록 하는 정책이 별로인 이유>를 설명할 수 있어야 합니다. 논제에 대한 답변이 되도록 idea를 발전시켜서 재구성해주세요.
Taking all of these reasons into consideration, I should disagree with the idea since it is important to find students’ talents and students’ basic quality education. Needless to say, there is no doubt in my opinion that taking all class mandatorily will benefit their future.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Limited - Fair (16–20)
내용을 설명하는 과정에서 논점이 어긋나지 않도록 '논제 내용'에 초점을 두고 풀어주세요. '학생들에게 과목을 선택하게 해주면~'이라는 전제를 연결해서 주제문을 구성하면 논점에서 벗어나는 것을 피할 수 있습니다. 주장이 명확하게 첫 문장에 제시되고 설명과 사례가 연결되게끔 문단 구성에도 신경써주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ 화이팅!