it is better to focus on one projects ar a time ans then start another one.
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
Many people must have experienced that of doing more than two projects at once. Some people argue that they can save the time and raise the time-efficiency. However, as far as I am concerned, I strongly believe that after finishing one assignment and then starting new one is more beneficial. The reasons for this are that it causes me to concentrate on each job even better and that I can save the total time to take more than two projects.
To begin with, when you deal with the projects one by one, you can make the better output by concentrating on each assignment. If you alternate between the assignments, you are likely to come up with the other idea related to in another work. It means that you tend to keep thinking the first assignment information while you are doing the second project, so the ideas can be mixed. distractions. Consequently, you would not concentrate on even one task works, and the result must be worsened. worsen. 번갈아가면서 한꺼번에 여러 일을 하면 헷갈려서 좋은 결과를 내기 어렵다는 지적은 적절합니다. 다만 설명 내용이 매끄럽지 못한 부분들이 아쉽습니다. 설명 내용이 좀 더 명확성을 가질 수 있도록 표현을 다듬어주세요. For instance, I often study several subjects at once during the exam term, and also last semester I have studied the Japanese culture and Korean culture at the same time to sparse the time. However, while I was memorizing the Japanese culture, I kept keep coming up with Korean Korean’s one. So, the two things were mixed in my thinking thought structure, and I got a lower score from all classes. It means that it is inefficient to do more than two things at the same time.
Secondly, it must take more time when you do two things at once. This is because you need to review the some part of the first project projects that you previously made, when you go back from the second project. You must need to some time to remind yourself you of the previous work that you can forget while you are doing second work. Consequently, it lengthens the whole time to accomplish the two projects. 시간이 오래 걸린다는 idea자체는 좋지만, 왜 여러 가지를 한꺼번에 하는 것이 시간이 오래 걸리는지에 대한 설명이 잘 이해되지 않습니다. 좀 더 설득력있는 설명 내용으로 수정해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. The research conducted by Dankook University has proven it. Researchers assined subjects They put the two assignments to draw a portrait and summarize the certain novel. First group of the students who did those do that one by one completed them it within one hour. a one hours, However, another group of the students who did do that at once spent takes more than two hours. The latter next group of students the student said that they forgot forger of the previous plot of the novel while they were drawing, so they had to reread kept rereading it. It proves that it is less productive in terms of the time efficiency when people they do various things at the same time.
To sum up, I firmly think the people should try to do certain projects one by one. This is because they can strengthen their concentration 집중력을 높여주는 것이 아니라 더 좋은 결과물을 낸다는 것이 main idea였으므로 수정해주는 것이 좋습니다. and shorten the total time to complete.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Limited - Fair (14–20)
문법오류가 너무 많습니다. 수일치, 태, 품사활용 등 문법요소를 좀 더 꼼꼼하게 신경써주세요. 기본적인 idea들은 모두 적절하지만 내용을 설명하는 부분들의 논리가 약합니다. 더 설득력있는 설명을 생각해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 문법오류를 바로잡고 내용을 잘 다듬는다면 충분히 더 좋은 점수도 가능하실 거예요^^ 수고 많으셨습니다. 화이팅!