Physical exercise should be a required part of every school day.
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There is are still ongoing debate about students' physical education. A substatial number of parents claim that their children are usually tired after physical exercise and have no energy to study afterward. Although I agree that sometimes physical activities can be overwhelming, students must participate in physical activities for a well-rounded education. The reasoning behind this is that exercises give students more concentration and good social skills.
To begin with, physical exercise helps students to have more energy, both mentally and physically, and therefore they will probably do better in their his studies. Regular exercise is essential to good health. It may seems like a waste of time and energy but actually it helps help students student to be healthier more health in the long run. Also, with a healthier body, students are able to concentrate more on the classes rather than being sick. 규칙적인 운동이 공부에 집중할 수 있도록 해 준다는 장점을 명확하게 제시한 점이 좋습니다. 공부에 집중하기 위해서는 체력이 필요하다는 전제사항을 먼저 제시해준 뒤에 체육수업으로 체력을 길러서 집중한다는 내용을 연결하면 단계적 구성을 보여주기에 더 좋겠지요. For instance, my cousin lived a sedentary life which involved sitting on the couch and eating junk food. As a result, his immune system broke down and he easily got sick. Nevertheless, when he joined a swimming and soccer team at school, he got into shape and became more much healthier, not to mention he got high grades grade on his tests. Likewise, exercise has have positive effects on students. 논제가 묻는 내용은 단순히 체육수업이 좋은 이유가 아니라 '체육수업을 매일 하는 것'에 대한 내용입니다. 즉 '체육은 이래서 좋다'가 아니라 결과적으로 '매일 체육수업을 하는 것이 좋다'라는 결론으로 연결되어야 합니다. 앞서 설명 내용에서 'regularly' 체육을 하면 좋은 점에 대해 언급했듯 매일 체육수업을 해서 규칙적인 운동을 하면 학생들 공부에 도움이 된다, 하는 식으로 표현해주면 논제와의 연관성을 보여주기에 더 유리하겠지요.
On top of that, students can grow their social skills when they participate in sports activities. Normally, students join a club or a team to participate in a physical activity. When they play games, students learn how to interact with other students and settle disagreements. Physical activities also give students a sense of belonging, especially in team sports. A student who was shy and timid can change into a person more outgoing by growing vital interpersonal skills. To illustrate this point, one of my friends friend, Alice, was a very timid person. The Her school counseler encouraged her to join a team sport so that she can be more involved with school activities. She chose choosed to join a soccer team and she led lead her team into first place on our district. As such, Likewise, students can develop important social skills skill that they need later on through physical exercise. 적절한 idea와 설명입니다. 사례 내용도 흐름에 잘 맞는 내용입니다. 다만 이 부분에서도 체육의 장점으로만 귀결되기보다 '매일' 체육수업을 하는 것이 좋다는 흐름이 되도록 키워드를 적절히 보완해주면 좋겠습니다.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that participating in sports can bring out the best in one's character by developping students' social skills and concentration. So, that's why students should be required to join physical activities.