■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : You should keep your old friends even if they do what you hate. |
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▶ Your Answer :
In short, I strongly believe that the disadvantage of keeping a relationship with friends who do thing I hate far outweigh its disadvantage for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of staying friends with who I hate cannot be overestimated in life.
Most of all, when students keep their relationships with their disliked friends, it can decrease their academic performances. Students who continually are exposed to disadvantage from their friends are being distracted, procrastinated their works, and losing confidence. If these negative effects are fulfilled, it is (be동사 필요) likely to bring a bad result in their school life. For example, John, who was one of my old friends, knew my pros and cons well since he was in his childhood. To survive a competitive world, we spent (시제) the whole day studying all academic subjects by sharing our emotion and relying on each other. However, he changed little by little after he went to the high school by hanging out with his other friends. He often made fun of my obesity with his friend and after I became a passive person because it was considered a complex since I was childhood.I asked him to stop talking negative messages on me, but he dismissed my mention and rather considered that it was more important to get along with other friends. Unfortunately, I was lost my confidence in most of high school life and got (시제) worse grades. I realized that keeping in touch with friends who I hate was likely to get adverse effects during high school years. In the end, I asked my teacher to change class and got far away from (전치사) him. If I had known the fact that, I would have been to keep my academic performance.
In short, I strongly believe that the disadvantage of keeping a relationship with friends who I hate far outweigh its disadvantage for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of staying friends with (전치사) who I hate cannot be overestimated in life. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.
3. off-topic에 가까운 에세이 입니다.
friends who you hate/dislike 가 아닌, friends who do things you hate 입니다.
엄연히 다르므로, 토픽을 잘 숙지해주시기 바랍니다.
4. example은 굉장히 좋은 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*