▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, Internet connected devices play a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that students should be prohibited from using Internet connected devices in class, while others do not. think differently Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that professors should let students use Internet connected devices in class. There are several reasons as follows for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, using Internet connected devices can improve people’s work performance. Internet connected machines are equipped with many functions that help people do work efficiently and accurately to do work more efficiently and accurately. When such functions are well used, it is likely to bring a better result in performance brings about better result in performance. For example, my youngest brother did poorly in university. He hardly understood the biology lecture and submitted his assignments late many times. However, he changed little by little gradually after using smartphone with many education applications in his class. He realized that using this technology helps him complete his tasks faster with a high accuracy. With the help of research engines, he was able to access a wide range of latest information. Thanks to high quality smartphone, he started to raise his grades in university by completing his assignments on time. He was able to excel all throughout university and received straight A’s in his lecture. If he had not been able to use smartphone in class, he would have fallen behind.
In addition, using Internet connected devices enables people to relax and recharge their batteries. When they are recharged, they are likely to have more energy to put into working and being active. For example, my sister did poorly in high school. She got distracted easily, procrastinated, and acted on impulse. However, she changed little by little after spending 10 minutes playing mobile games during break in class. She realized that playing mobile games helped her recharge her batteries and refocus on her schoolwork, while studying without break could negatively affect her concentration. Thanks to the game she played during study breaks, she started to maintain a good behavior by raising her grades in school. She showed characteristics of a longer attention span, a stronger passion in her tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. Without refreshing herself, she would have fallen behind.
All things considered, I strongly believe that professors should let students use Internet connected devices in class for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of utilizing digital devices in class cannot be overestimated in life.
점수; 23 너무 예시 중점이 많은 독립형 에세이입니다. 예시에 대하여서 초점을 너무 맞추다 보니 에세이 자체가 장황하게 되었습니다. 에세이가 장황해 지다 보면 본레 자기가 전달하려고 했던 의미들이 변질되게 됩니다. 의미가 변질되다 보면 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 파악하기가 어렵기 때문에 좀 더 간결하게 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 이러한 부분을 재외하고는 잘 서술하였습니다. 지금 이 에세이에서 필요한 것은 이유에 대한 설명을 좀 더 구체화시키시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |