주제: 최신제품을 바로 사느냐 안사느냐 입니다.
Some people think that it is a good idea to purchase a brand-new device as soon as it is released. However, in my opinion, it is better to wait until many people have bought it because it is expensive to purchase a new one, and it could have some flaws.
To begin with, it costs a lot of money to replace old ones to new devices. Companies (단수/복수) these days release a lot of products in markets with just small advancements because they have to attract people and survive from the competition against many companies. It is taken for granted that no significant change can be made in a short period of time. In fact, people will end up buying pretty similar products with a great deal of money as a result. A company called Apple is a proper evidence to explain this tendency. They release two to three (아라비아 숫자 사용을 지양해주세요) phones every year to attract people to purchase their goods. I once bought their phone because the design had changed. But when I started using it, I realized the camera was the only change compared to the old one. No high-tech upgrade was equipped with the new phone. I concluded that the purchase was a (관사) waste of money.
Next, new products do not have any proof that it is a better product than old one. As an engineering student, I know that to accomplish a new technical advance, one aspect should be sacrificed. This means that some functions can perform with worse quality. It is not late to purchase the product after people make some reviews about them. To give an example, Samsung produced a great quality air conditioner that possesses more (비교) dramatic functions than any other company (any + 단수명사)could not have. When I heard the news, I bought it right away for its expected usage. But even though it was super effective as an air conditioner, it had some flaws. The size got so bigger to carry out unprecedented performance than prior ones, and it spent so much electricity, which made me to pay a big amount of money at the end of the month. Also, the air conditioner barely fit into my room. What I thought about was that there was an enhancement in function perspective, but not that of in size.
To sum up, people do not have to hasten when purchasing a new device. They have to consider its many aspects and how much money it would cost. It is good to remember that new technology nearly sacrifices one function to make specific one to perform better. For these reasons, I would wait until many people use it.
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1. 사소한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다. proof-reading을 꼼꼼하게 해주세요.
2. 첫 번쨰 토픽 센텐스는 costs a lot of money보다는 출시 후 시간이 지날수록 싸게 변한다 라고 하면 더 좋을 것 같고
두 번째 토픽 센텐스는 do not have any proof가 아니라 early users can prove ~~~ 이런 식으로
긍정적으로 진행하는 것이 더 좋을 것 같습니다.