▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that driver should pay an additional fee for driving where there is the greates amount of traffic. While other do not think. Personally I think driver should pay an addition fee for driving where there is congested. Let me explain why. To begin with, it makes road seem to be(to be가 없는게 더 깔끔하게 보입니다) more organized and work properly.(앞에 있는 동사 seem과 어울리지 않습니다. 이렇게 쓸 때는 항상 앞에 무슨 동사로 문장을 시작했는지 생각해야합니다) In generally (In general이나 Generally가 맞는 어휘입니다), on the road at congested city like seoul, there are many cars on their and it takes too much time to move on this way. It definitely waste of time and money for driver. According to the news I recently read say tha t(에세이에서 필요없는 부분입니다) New York is the first city in the united state implement congested fee. Local govenor expect that the level of traffic would is decrease. some city already implemented(앞에 would도 그렇고 시제 주의해서 작성해주세요) congested fee. The amount of traffic on the road decrease more than 30% after implement this fee. Congested fee is effective way to decrease the amount of traffic on the road On the top of that, it can decrease negative impact on environment especailly air condition. In thesedays, many people suffer from repritoy desease due to pine dust. Accordomg tp the study conducted by korea university, the main cause of pine dust is trrafic. We can solve this issue by decreasing the amount of traffic. As I above said(above가 먼저 와야 할지 said가 먼저 와야 할지 이런 순서에 대해 많이 헷갈리시는 것 같습니다) , congested fee is effective to decrease the traffic. Considering result of the study, decreasing traffic lead to allviate pine dust naturally. To sum up, is is helpful for not only road but also environment. It can decrease the level of traffic on the road and it leads to the decrease of negative impact on environment. Considering this. I think driver should pay an addition fee when they drive on the road at congested city
시제 주의해주세요. 문법의 가장 시초이자 기본인데 시제 오류가 너무 많아 이해가 되지 않는 문장들이 너무 많습니다. 또 spelling오류가 굉장히 많은 편입니다. 문법 오류와 함께 proof reading이 너무 필요해 보이는 에세이입니다. 이렇게 spelling오류가 너무 많으니 아예 이해가 가지 않는 문장도 꽤 보입니다. 작성하실 떄 주의해주세요 문장 오류가 굉장히 많은데, 에세이보다는 문장만들기 연습을 더 하시는게 훨씬 좋을 것 같습니다. 문장 연습 하시다 보면 어떤 문장에 어떤 어휘가 어울리는지 안 어울리는지 더 잘 알 수 있으니 문장만들기 연습 하세요. |