▶ Your Answer :
It
is debatable whether it is beneficial to do exercise with others or alone. This
is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be
different depending on the individual questions. In my opinions, however, I
support that doing exercise with others has a lot of advantages for the
following reasons.
First
of all, we can expand my social network. To be specific, when we work out in a
park and fitness club such as playing tennis and running with others, we can
have opportunities to meet new people from different backgrounds and to build a
closer relationship with them building a closer relationship. Building relationships is an important thing to
improve on communications and social skills. For example, Steve jobs, who is
the founder of Apple, made a great accomplishment in his lifetime. I read
online that he was very successful because he learned how to build
relationships and interact with others. He could do this by working out with
others when he is in high school was in high school. For these reasons, doing exercise with others
is a valuable method to expand social network.
Second,
we can have a sense of competitiveness. To be specific, working out together
allows people to expose the competition situation, which as a result we can get
a sense of competitiveness. This sense enables people to stay motivated to work
harder and to get a healthy life. On the other hand, because exercising alone
cannot have a competitive situation, we can be lazy. To be specific, when I was
in college, I joined a climbing club. I attended a class with others. I could
climb harder by looking for others who get better skills than me. Thus, I could
have high scores in climbing contest. If I did climb alone, I could not improve
on climbing skills.
In
conclusion, I believe that working out together has very benefits in many ways.
All things considered, it is my belief that my argument has been precisely
delivered for the reasons mentioned above.
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우에 있어서는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 완벽히 숙지가 되어있는 에세이입니다. 각 단락의 구체적 설명과 적절한 예시를 통하여서 왜 운동을 할 때 사람들과 같이 운동을 해야하는 지를 잘 보여줍니다. 수고많으셧습니다.
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