▶ Your Answer : When it comes to being leader or follower, people share different perspectives. Some people might say being a follower is better, because if you are a leader, you should take a risk. As far as I am concerned, I agree the statement for the following two reasons.
To begin with, If I can be a leader, I can build much more relationships than being a follower more relationship can be built. To be specific, If you are a leader, you should contact every member in the group when there are meetings or soem notices if people are leaders, they should contact the member to notify the meeting (독립형 에세이에서는 you를 서술하면 안됩니다). If you are a follower, however, you can just receive the contact from leader, and you don not have to concact every single person in the group. In addition, in the meeting, everyone knows who is a leader, but followers can not know each other. For instance, I was a leader in the travel circle when I was a high school student. Every travels, I had to contact every single person in the circle, so now I have been keeping the relationships with the members for over 10 years, but there are not familiar relationships between the followers. It is hard to build relationships between the followers, because they had hardly contacted each other.
Furthermore, I can make the skill to solve problems, if I am a leader. When a leader organize organizes (leader는 단수 주어 입니다) a group, there can be some problems, so leaders have responsibilities to solve those things. I guess responsibilities give a leader the skill to solve problems. If you are not a leader, I do not have any responsibilities, but if you are a leader, you should solve some problems, having the responsivilities. For example, When when (대문자는 문장 시작할 때만 서술하시길 바랍니다) I was a leader in a travel circle, there were various problems. I should solve misunderstanding between members, because I have the responsibility to solve the problem and make the cirvle peace. In order to solve the misunderstanding between members, I can get a communication skill, trying to solve the misunderstanding.
In conclusion, If you are a leader, you can build more relationships thatn being a follower, and you can get the skill to solve some problems in the groups, so I agree the statement that being a leader is better than being a follower.
점수: 23 일단 지금 이 에세이는 너무 구어체 입니다. 특히 독립형 에세이에서는 you를 서술하면 안됩니다. 이인칭 주어로 에세이를 서술하는 것 보다는 삼인칭 주어로 더 명확하게 자신의 주장을 전달하는 것이 더 필요합니다. 또한 지금 이 에세이는 반복적인 문장들이 많다 보니 전체적으로 설명이 모호합니다. 지금 이 에세이에서는 명확하게 자신의 주장을 전달하는 것이 필요합니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |