▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people saying that some subjects such as art and music should be optional. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons. First, art and music can foster students’ creativity. Second, those subjects is helpful to relieve stress.
First of all, art and music help develop creativity. Most students do not know how to express themselves, which, however, can be improved by participating art and music class. While students are singing or drawing what they want and feel inside, they gradually learn how to express themselves. That process will help students develop their own creativity. A recent survey conducted by the National Education Institute to determine whether art and much class would affect creativity of students. It was found that those subjects have a significant role in students’ creativity indeed.
On top of that, art and music class can be helpful for getting rid of stress. Students can refresh their mind by singing songs in music class. Participating in music class helps students not only by to reduce stress but also and more focus on other subjects. Let me take my experience as an example. When I was in high school, I was stressed out very often because of peer pressure. However, whenever I was in music class, I could interact with other classmates in a natural way. This is because I had to collaborate to solve assigned tasks, which is about composing a song and singing together. Thus such music class surely helped me hang out with my peers naturally and overcome peer pressure.
To sum up, music and art promote students’ creativity and relive stress. In this regard, I firmly believe that art and music subjects should be mandatory, which will reap benefits.
does/do구분이나 단수 복수 구분 등 아주 기본적인 문법 오류들이 굉장히 자주 보이는 편입니다. 문장끼리 이어지지 않는 부분도 꽤 보여서, 제 생각에는 에세이보다는 문장쓰기 연습을 조금 더 하는게 더 좋을 것 같습니다. |