열심히 썼어요^^ 몇점 나올까요...
그런데 마지막 단락을 이런식으로 끝내도 되는건가요??
It is often said that it is beneficial for people to travel their own countries than going abroad. However, I strongly disagree with this opinion. It is much better to travel abroad even though it might cost a lot, or might be a little bit inconvenient. This is because traveling in other countries not only allows people to see great art works in person, but also lets lets them experience other cultures or exotic food.
To begin with, it would make an amazing memory to see famous masterpieces of art directly. Not many people have seen real, authentic art works, and it would offer them a rare opportunity of seeing famous masterpieces. Many people have seen Mona Lisa in their textbooks, for example, but most of them have not seen the real one. If they can go to the Louvre Museum in Paris, they’ll be able to see the paintings themselves. To be specific, people might never know what is so special about the woman in Mona Lisa unless they see it, and they would finally be able to appreciate the painting. This might be impossible for them if they are stuck to traveling within their own countries.
Secondly, by visiting other countries, people can understand foreign cultures and traditions. Every country has its own unique styles and customs. Although some of them are well known in other countries, there are many other ones that can be found only in the country. One should find it better to experience it directly than searching online or just reading a book. For instance, one would be able to taste foreign cuisines and experience cultures, especially when there’s an event for foreigners. 이부분은 좀더 구체적이면 좋겠어요 :)
To sum up, people can get firsthand experience of famous works of art and foreign customs and cuisines by going abroad. So, why don’t you travel abroad to experience unique styles and get rare opportunities of seeing masterpieces?
하하 :D 참 재밌게 끝내셨네요
귀엽게 봐주면 좋지만 채점관들이 어떻게 봐줄지는 잘 모르겠어요.
제가볼땐 갑자기 등장하는 공익광고같은 질문이 본문의 목적과는 잘 맞지 않기
때문에 감점요인이 되지 않을까 싶네요 :)
그외에는 거의 만점수준인듯 싶습니다.