general statement 가 한두문장 있으면 좋겠습니다. I am convinced that raising the prices of gasoline and energy is not the most effective way to conserve energy.paraphrase! There are two reasons why I feel this way. One reason for my argument is that huge amount of energy is consumed at our daily lives that are hard to be decreased and substituted. The other reason is that almost all manufacturers which are the one of the main consumer of energy will continue to use gasoline and energy even though energy prices rise.
First of all, enormous amount of energy is spent at our daily lives that are hard to be replaced and reduced. For example, people have to eat to live. To eat, they have to cook food. While they cook, energy and gasoline is spent. There are no alternative ways of cooking food without the use of energy. To give another example, many students need light when they study at night. So they will turn on the light and while they are studying they spend energy on using lamp for light. Almost all students will choose to study rather than conserve energy because leaning is more advantageous to them. ( unnecessary sentence ) As a result this indispensable uses make it difficult to conserve a great deal of energy.
Moreover, almost all manufacturing companies which are the one of main energy consumer will keep on spending energy on working their machines even though energy prices rise. For example, a automobile company will not reduce the production of cars to conserve energy because trading more cars is more lucrative than conserving energy. And the mobile company will not replace existing machines with new one that spend less energy because it cost colossal amount of money to buy the new machine and get rid of the existing machines. Why limit to only mobile or car company? This idea might apply to industries in general Besides process of producing the machines that spend less energy also need energy. As a result this companies’ preference of pursuing profit makes it hard to expect dramatic energy conservation
In conclusion, for the above reasons, I strongly disagree with the statement that raising the prices of gasoline and energy is the most effective way to conserve energy.
conclusion is too short. Conclusion should be a wrap-up paragraph, not a finishing sentence. |