먼저, 시간은 1분 초과하고 썻지만 저 혼자 첨삭하면서 단어라든지, 문법틀린것 좀 손봤네요..ㅠ
제발 부디. 이정도면 5점 환산. 3.5 이상 가능한가요?
아 21일 셤인데 롸이팅에서 20점 이상은 찍어야 하는데.ㅠㅠㅠ
걱정입니다 !~
문제: Do you agree or disagree with following statement? A zoo is no more useful for humans and wild animals. Use specific reasons and details support your answer.
it is debatable whether a zoo is no more useful for humans and wild animals. some people say animals should be in their residence for their survival, because in zoo, animals are easily affected by humans and inferior environment. but, in my opinion, zoo could be great part of between humans and animals in that education and leisure time.
first, animals are very important means regarding children's education. children are often go to a zoo with their family or school. they surprise when they see animals such as lions, bears and lots kind of birds even if they already saw on the television. this is because it is really different between looking in person and in television. children can give some cheaps to animals or they can talk to them easily. in this sense, children can develop their imagination and they can gain importance of life's worth. for example, my younger brother, who is 11years old, is studying animals to be a zoologist in the future. so he always go to a zoo to investigate animal's habit or how they behave in lot of diverse situation. zoo gives him an invaluable knowledge.
second, zoo can be great place to having refreshing time for people. in contrary, some people say that this is why animals are suffering in a zoo because of human beings. but, I strongly believe this is a wrong idea because animals in zoo are also benefited from humans such as food and moderate conditions to live. of course, it is hard to give perfect conditions to animals, but these days, many zoos are equipped with cutting-edge instrument or environment to keep animals from suffering. families or students need some free time to relieve their stresses. so zoo is perfect place to provide people with enjoying their free time. a survey shows that 30% of korean people are usually go to a zoo in weekend to have fun.
in this regard, zoos are not only nice place to people but also animals in zoo and they can interact easily and directly.