33. You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a peeve of jewellery you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reason and details to support your opinion.
The old saying money can’t buy happiness still rings true. That is to say, people should not rely so much on monetary value when deciding thing that what makes them happy. Indeed things with less monetary value can bring greater happiness than things with higher monetary value. Many people mistakenly believe that such things as jewel, gold, and money are the most revered things (things의 사용이 너무 잦습니다. 단어사용 수준이 낮음을 보여주는 단어이므로 최대한 피하시는것이 좋지만 정말 불가피할때만 사용하셔야 합니다 :) in the world and focus their lives on pursuing more of them. While such precious metal has its own value, it is not as important as pursuing one’s happiness such as going to a concert.
Concert offers people with the priceless memory that lasts forever, as opposed to jewels which value dwindles due to various grounds. To illustrate this, I will give you a personal example. When I was accepted to the university that I wanted to get in, my parents offered me a chance to do what ever I want. I made up my mind to go to a concert that I craved for a long time. The recollection of happy memory that I received from the concert helps me get through all the hardships especially when I am depressed. (be more detailed) In contrast my friend, who received a luxurious watch as a present for getting admission to university, lost the watch when he went to membership training to mountain. He was so disappointed with the loss of his watch and moaned for a couple of days.
글은 잘 쓰셨지만, 내용은 겉에서 빙빙도는 느낌입니다. 마지막 시계를 잃어버린 예시는 다소 갑작스럽게 나온 느낌이고 결론이 결여되있어 혼란을 주는것 같습니다.
Happiness is doubled when you spend time with the people with the same interest. Industrial revolution triggered serious social problem throughout the world: materialism. It has led to people people to focus only on satisfying their own greed and interaction among people has diminished. In my case, I was super stressed out by the excessive competition in high school where grades represented on transcripts were everything that mattered in high school life. There was not much communication made in classes because none of the courses required interaction among students. One day I tried to make a study group with the students of the same interest. It made my high school life not only less stressful but also my grades have improved significantly. In this respect spending time together with the same interest, such as attending a concert, amplify happiness.
It is true that jewels are important in terms of its representative value, for example diamond representing everlasting love. However, for most people, going to a concert should be pursued as it can lead to gaining lifelong memory and multiplying the happiness.
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