> > 2010-10-20 12:26:11, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
독립형 연습을 하면 할 수록 이 표현이 맞는지 저 표현이 맞는지 헷갈리면서 더 신경쓰이네요ㅜ 이를 어쩌죠...
■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic : The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. | |
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It it often said that people put too much priority on the payment condition when they are searching for a job. It seems that people’s main purpose of working is earning money. However, there are two reasons why the most crucial aspect of a job is not just about the money.-> job 가 주어여야 하는데 aspect가 주어가 되버렸네요 First, one may get a-> a an 구별 기본적인것 조심해주세요 :) unwanted job which he or she may end up quitting. Also, a ultmate purpose of job is a self-improvement.
To begin with, people should not get a job just because of high paycheck-> salary because they may end up with unwanted job-> because 중복사용 피해주시고 , should get a job because they can end up with unwanted job는 논리적으로 맞지 않습니다. People usually spend most of their time working. If they do not feel satisfied and happy with it, they will be under stress. What is worse, they may have to quit their job in a short time. For example, one of my friend used to work for the biggest company in Korea, Sam-sung. Even though he was not interested in his work field -advertising, he choose the job because of the high salary. However, after 1 year, he had to quit because he got too much stress and he even got a health problem because of the stress. This shows that one cannot hold down a job that he or she does not want.
In addition, self-improvement should be the most important factor of working. One can learn and obtain crucial values by working such as building up one’s career or obtaining knowledge. Even though these values may not be seen very important right now, to earn much money in the future, these are indispensible. To illustrate, compare to the former friend, my other friend got a job which provides many opportunities in her field- marketing. Even though she had spent much time to find the job and earned lower salary, she got the job and worked very hard. After 5 years later, now she became the manager of the marketing department. This proves that self improvement is more important than money when one is looking for a job.
-> To illustrate, compared to the former friend, another friend of mine got a job which provided many opportunities in her field( her field - marketing에서 opportunities를 줬다는 내용은 별 의미가 없습니다.)
Even though she had spent MORE time looking for the appropriate job and earned lower salary, she was satisfied because +(self-improvemt와 관련된 내용).
-> self-improvement가 중요하다는것이 뭘 의미하는지 다소 불명확합니다.
To conclude, people should not think of the money that they earn is the main purpose of getting a job. This is because one may risk getting a job which he or she is not interested in – which will result in quitting. Furthermore, working provides much more important value than the paycheck – self-improvement. | |