Today's society, much more developed technologies than they were in the past require people to work together with cooperation. Because if we do not assist other in working, we never make out products that need high skills. As the world is becoming more diverse and complex, the ability to cooperate with other people is more needed.
In the past, there were not lots of works to ask for intricate processes. However, in the modern society, Many works require cooperation among people. For instance, to make an airplane, many diverse workers with their specialized skills are needed. For making it, each works must be separated by profession in different places, and it will be lately assembled after completing each works. In this procedure, cooperation with other is indispensible. -> 현재와 과거를 비교하는것이므로 단순히 indispensible이라고 하는것보다는 시간과 연결지어 결론을내는것이 좋습니다.
-> 쓰시는 문장들이 문법에 틀리지는 않지만, 표현이나 논리면에서 좀더 자연스러우면 좋겠습니다.
자연스레 쓰다보면 쓸 내용도 많아집니다.
In the past, there were only a few intricate processes that couldn't be done alone. In modern society, however, most of the products or services that we create needs cooperation of two or more people. 여기에 That is, 하고 좀더 부연설명한 후에, . For instance, building an airplane requires thousands of workers to cooperate. Before they're put together, each one of the thousands of parts has its own specialized workers to be produced. When finally they are all being assembled, all the separated workers that had been focusing on their own projects come together working in harmony to make sure each parts are connected appropriately and operating properly. The process is simultaneously monitored and adjusted by groups of people who direct the whole project. This kind of work that mandatorily require super cooperation are flooding the society these days.
In addition, deep effort is needed to make up an idea or new innovations. Today, people want to have more convenient facilities and technologies, which yields high competition. To meet these expects and competition, people need to work with other since when people work together by squeezing out brains to find a new invention, we can get somethings that we expect. Futhermore, every works was expanded in size. In our business, people are no longer asked to make one product. In our environmental problems, individual can not do something to protect and conserve. With cooperation and assistance for other, we will have a power to solve problems and assignments in this sophisticated world.
to sum up, I believe that people should develop the ability to cooperate with other. Because this capability is quite natural in this society that needs far more intricate means and processes to make goods. Also, it is the way for people to adapt more enormous world in life style. |