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blue - weird, awkward red - wrong What if frogs in a well cleary apply to the real world? Every frog in same characteristics! Would it be varicolored? Once each wants to expose oneself conspicuously and to see a wider world, they will need some passages. Human society has the fact in common. In this case, the passages would be "college or university". And why do people take this passages for granted? Firstly, They must want to lay bare themselves with their own personalities. "College and university" is willing to be idealized means of being so. Gaining additional profound education, we can learn more about our majors, and in the long run, we would be special - unlike from others. Having own traits allows us to be memorable. They whispers about who we are. Secondly, people go there owing to a wider world. We don't simply take a varsity because of knowledge. Or, it provide us diverse opportunities for something our globe needs - like humanity, affability, maturation. In this way, we are now able to receive necessary instrument for building bridge to that. It goes without saying that those who have watch farther and farther succeed than the erudite do. College and university furnitures students with hopes for the future and novel potentials. Of course we can study alone, but that pillar of dream makes us more remarkable. If you really long for seeing a vast world, it will be a great help. We might be frogs, unless we even reckon that we have to build bridges to the future. Estimation : You've got to study more obviously. Toefl is no time to use your creativity. If your English is not great, just follow some directions from books. < Intro The more our society become pluralistic, the more people's ardor for learning grow aflame. Thus, college and university are welcomed by those who take part in them for various purposes. They can provide their students with opportunities to expose themselves and give in-depth education. >>no time to use creativity>>more realistic and not to write subjectively. >>to eradicate an ambiguous sentence Body 1. It seems to me that the majority of students attend college or university for these main reasons. >>to root out an unnecessary sentence. Conclusion And most of all, students should reckon prudently that they have to endeavor to try best whether the purpose with universities are. >>Frogs-story has already been changed in Introduction.
감사합니다!!!!!!!!!!!! 앞으로도 올릴때마다 많이 도와주세요!!!!!!!! |