주제: The negative effects of automobiles
Since the Industrial Revolution, there have been many changes in our society. Among the changes, it is no exaggeration to say that automobiles have been one of the greatest inventions. Automobiles have provided us with moving easy from one area to another. In addition, automobiles have lead to develop new transportations like subways. Although automobiles have provided with the positive effects on society, they also have brought many negative effects such as global warming, increasing accidental death, and making people unhealthy.
First of all, global warming can threaten our lives. It harms Ecosystem, raises sea level, and even makes ground to be deserts. As a result, it will cause the extreme change of weather, many species extinction, and changes in a harvest yield. Moreover, carbon dioxide emitted from automobiles destroys ozone layer, which protects us from Ultra-Violet rays. It can cause many serious skin diseases.
Another effect is to increase accidental death. According to “Notsoboringlife,” 44,000 people die per a year by car crash. Advanced automobiles can drive over 140 miles per hour. Nevertheless, the braking power and car body strength do not guarantee safety. In addition, car accidents are due to alcohol and reckless driving.
p.s 토플때문은 아니구 학교 제출해야되는 에쎄이 인데요..주로 direct object랑 awkawrd에 많은 지적을 받았네요.. 그리고 두번째 문단의 topic을 restate 하라고 지적 받았습니다. 대충 어떤 표현이 더 적절할까요. 영어가 짧아서 많이 어렵네요;; 도움 부탁드립니다.