실수로 줄이 좀 삐뚤어졌네요;;
주제-성적을 매기는 것은 학생들이 배우는것을 장려한다? 찬성이구요..
라이팅 연습하고 있어요~~~~~~
Some people think that grading academic developments of students doesn’t help them to learn better because life is not all about studying 논리. However, I strongly disagree with these people because getting good grades make students feel better and also because studying does actually take great part of their lives.
First of all, students will try to get good grades because they know that they’ll be rewarded by their parents or teachers. Even though awards and trophies are not the ultimate purpose of studying, it is true that those rewards can help students be proud of themselves. Therefore, students will keep trying and study harder in order to get good grades. For instance, my school holds awards ceremonies after each semester to praise students that has improved throughout the semester or students who got straight A’s. When students get these awards, students feel confident of themselves and try to get another award the next time. In fact, many schools do this to make students learn better -> enhance the performance of their students 좀 잘 배우게 이런 애매한 표현보다는 detail한 표현을 사용하는 연습을 해주세요 :), and this actually helps students a lot.
Besides, academic backgrounds influence one’s life greatly. Getting good grades is not the only thing one should achieve in order to succeed, but it is one of the most important matters. If one doesn’t have good academic backgrounds and wants to be acknowledged, he needs to be in an extraordinary circumstance, which is not the common case. Academic backgrounds and achievements in special fields are what most of the clients look for, no matter how kind and attractive you are. According to a survey, 60 percent of clients from companies randomly selected responded that they would love to have applicants with PhD’s in their fields. This shows that getting good grades and studying hard helps one succeed in his future job. 조금 애매하네요. the topic did not necessarily or explicitly ask you to explain about whether studying hard is helpful or not. You should focus on addressing the topic. To use this body like as it is, the whole development of the essay should be revised. Even then, the essay should focus on whether grading system helps students to learn or not.
To sum up, grading encourages students to feel better and study hard, and good academic grades help them be successful in their futures. Hence, I think that grading actually makes students learn better and study harder.