It is better to live in one city or town than to move from one place to another.
It is often said that experiencing a lot of cities is better than living one-> living in one city.
Some people may oppose this statement because living one city can give a lot of advantages. For example. they said that people can feel more convenient, easy.-> 편리하고 쉽다게 느낀다는 뜻이 무엇인지 모르겠습니다. 다른 어휘선택을 하시던지 좀더 구체적으로 문장을 쓰셔야 할듯싶습니다.
However, in my opinion. moving from one place to another is good-> 단순히 좋은게 아니라 더 좋은것이므로 better to-> for people. The mainly-> main reasons are that people can meet a lot of various people very naturally, and they can easily access to the city's customs and historic places.
To begin with, people can meet various people very easily by moving away from their home. If we experience a lot of cities, we can see more a lot of people very readily. According to the Health and Welfare of Korea in 2009, researchers conducted the difference of house moving.-> difference of house moving? And then, studies have indicated that 85 percent of people who lived a lot of cities show a good social adaptation. This result indicated that moving from one place to another is good to their making friends.-> 지어내더라도 논리적으로 지어내시는것이 도움이 됩니다. Therefore, I think that living a lot of cities is more benefit to people.
Moreover, people can visit the city's historic places and can learn the city's customs very readily. When I was in high school student, I met a new friend, he is very smart about historic places or various customs. I am very wondering what is the reason his these abilities.-> I always wondered how he was so knowledgeable in those areas. So, he said that I have moved away from a lot of cities for once a year from his age 6-years-old.-> when he was 6 years old. He thinks that this experience must give his knowledges.-> His knowledge came from these experiences. And , these experiences gave his dream by a historic scholar.
To sum it up, everyone have to experience a lot of cities by moving away from another city. The important reasons are that people can meet a lot of neighbors very naturally and they can learn a lot of city's customs and historic places. Therefore, living a lot of cities is more advantageous to people.
-> 작문 연습 많이 하시고,
문단구분을 확실하게 지어주세요 :)
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