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agree or disagree?
Elementary school students should be required to take classes eleven months per year for a better education.
When it comes to the issue of elementary school students' education, some people suggest that the best way is taking courses eleven months per year, while others disagree with their view. In my point of view, the latter opinion carries more weight due to other extra curricular experiences and maintaining of good health for young students.
In the first place, having various experience is as important as a class for elementary school students' education. In other words. Classes and studies are not everything for an education. To be specific, Children can improve their creativity and find their aptitude through diverse experience such as playing sports with friends, traveling, learning instruments and so on. However, they would lose these opportunities if elementary school students should take courses almost all year. Let me take my experience as an example. When I was an elementary school student, I used to visit my grandfather and grandmother who live in countryside during the summer vacation. At that time, I was able to understand nature by playing with new friends in the fields, river and on the hill. (vague meaning)Moreover, I had chances to explore historic sites in that neighborhood. These experiences was very helpful for my education. This would not have been possible if~~ 하면서 마무리해주는것도 좋을것 같습니다 :)
In the second place, a lot of classes for a long time can damage students' health. No one can deny that students who attend school almost all year would be under stress due to constant competition and exams without plenty of rest. Not only that, but it can cause many problems that are hampering their growth and being harmful to their mental health. According to a study conducted by the Korea Health Institution, if children are stressed and do not get enough sleep continuously, which it can hinder their growth including that of the brain. On top of that, the institution recently reported that 25% of elementary schoolchildren are suffering from depression because of their studies. Considering elementary school students' health condition, they are too young to go to school almost all the year round.
To sum up, young students need to experience many different things for a practical education. Moreover they should take care of their physical and mental health by reason of the period of growth. (inappropriate expression) From what I have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that taking classes eleven months per year is not that beneficial to elementary school students for a better education.
First place second place는 순위매길때 사용하는데,
글에서 나열할때 쓰는지는 잘 모르겠네요 처음보네요 :)