▶ Your Answer :
It is often said that money makes people being happier because this society is materialism and we can buy everything by money. However, I believe that taking a proper break is better for people for two reasons: taking rest can improve their productivity and money cannot make people happy.
인트로 깔끔하니 괜찮아여~~~
To begin with, providing more vacation days at work help one improve work efficiency. This is because that everyday mundain mundane routines can wear people out of originality and drain enthusiasm. Thus, through adequate break time, People should have time to recharge and take refresh energy for work. According to the Ministry of Education of Korea in 2006, students who spent time with family time and who took time for extracurricular activities such as playing sports or musical instruments performed better in school with a higher GPA of 3.8 on average. On the other hand, students who spent most of their time in front of the desks and studying all daytime actually did worse by scoring 3.4 on average. Moreover, these in latter groups were shown some traits such as dozing off and a lack of focusing in class time. This implies that working for a lot of time does not guarantee better outcome.
In addition, high salaries do not guarantee genuine happiness. Although people believe enduring hardship will compensate at the end, most of them ended up being unhappy. This is because that the lure of money turns people into workaholic and depriving them of quality time with family. For example in the movie ' The Devil Wears Prada,' the character Miranda Presley was a successful business woman, yet infamous for her dictatorship at her office. Although she had a high reputation for her competence in her field, she was a wreck in her family because she divorced multiple times and lived a lonely life behind the doors. This showed that all money she was pulling in from her high duties could not make her a truly happy woman.
In brief, I firmly believe that a job that placed place a high value on free time is better even if it means less pay than work without much free time.
전체적으로 안정된 에세이입니다~
특히 두번째 바디의 예시가 상당히 좋습니다. 영화에서 나오는 인물로 이용해 예시를 쓰는건 어려운데 너무 잘 쓰셨습ㄴ다~~
화이팅하세여~!~~!~~!~!~!~!~!
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