TV or movies have a positive effect on the way young people behave. |
Opinions might be divided over whether TV or movies has a positive effect on the way young people behave. Personally, I agree with this idea for the two reasons. First, each thing serves as a stress-reliever. Second, those are effective ways to deliver massage. I will explain in detail. Above all, television and movies are helpful when young people want to relieve stress. Nowadays, a substantial number of people are bound by hectic schedules and heavy workloads. So, chances are that they get too much stressed out. In this circumstance, they need certain way to reduce their stress for mental and physical health. And television and movies are beneficial. According to a research released by the Korea National Research Center, more than two-thirds of people who enjoy watching TV or movies responded that they feel stress-free after watching them. Furthermore, they mentioned that, with this effect, they are able to concentrate on their own works. This research shows that television and movies are useful in that we are able to relieve stress with them. In addition, we are able to pass our message easily to others with TV or movies. There are lots of methods to deliver message such as radio and newspaper, other than TV or movies. However, the effectiveness of each method is not same. Television and movies which have sound and image are more effective than others. To illustrate, when we watch a TV program, we are able to take enough information from speaker and screen. In the contrast, reading newspaper or listening to radio, we can only take insufficient information from sound or image. Thus, we are able to get relatively more information though television or movies. In conclusion, I think that TV or movies have a good influence on young people for two reasons I have mentioned above. First, those are good ways to relieve stress. Second, television and movies are effective when we deliver massage.
전체적으로 매우 잘 쓰셨네요 well-organized되어있구요.. 조금 수정해야 한다면.. "And" 와 "So"는 최초 문장으로 시작하는 transition으로는 사용하지 마시구요.. 부정관사 (a, an, 0)이 몇군데 빠진거 같은데 확인해 보시구요. 조금만 다듬으면 토플에서 만점 받으실듯. ㅎ |