안녕하세요 시니입니다.
처음으로 통합형 라이팅을 해보네요.
어떤것인가 한번 써보고 공부 방향을 잡으려고 템플릿에 억지로 끼워 맞춰 봤네요.
신랄한 첨삭 부탁드립니다.
새해복 많이 받으세요 ^^
The reading passage argues that video games have given the children negative effects. However, the speaker contradicts the reading with opposing views.
To begin with, while the reading passage argues that some children have shown addictive behavior as withdrawal symptoms, the speaker actually points out with believable research datas that tells us children spend just 13hours per week. but they spend 25hours per week for watching TV. This means, if video game is additive, anything should be said addictive, because we spend lots of our time to do with our hobby such as skiing, reading, and so on.
On top of that, the speaker casts doubt on the reading that it makes children to conduct aggressive. His main reason is that after video game coming out, the claim rates are declined. Also, he states that video games would be a avenue through which the children can be release their aggression .
Furthermore, the speaker denies the reading which maintains that children spend lots of their time on playing video games by saying that video games plays a key role in encouraging their intelligence. For example, they can solve their problem quickly and do multiple tasks at a time. In addition, they can improve their reaction time.
For these reasons, the speaker challenges the reading's points about disadvantages of playing video games.
p.s 리스닝의 세가지 포인트를 다 듣고, 이정도 글 전개에
독립형도 이 정도 쓴다고 하면 22점 받을 수 있을까요??