▶ Your Answer :
Recently, general awareness about whether it is wise to spend time alone is relaxing and less stressful has aroused as heated arguments. People, nevertheless, have conflicting ideas; while some people say that it is necessary to talk with friends when he/she gets stressed out, others deem otherwise. From my point of view, I am in agreement with the latter stand for spending time alone makes more stress and does not find various solutions.
The first reason for my opinion that can be seen by every person is his/her mind state will be complex spending time alone. The first reason for my opinion is that people’s mind will be more complex once they spend time alone. <위에 문장이 말이 안되네요. 한번 읽어보시고 수정해주세요 ^^> So, it is easy to get stressed out. However, cheating chatting with friends, he/she forgets bad memories they have sufferd suffered from. 은 속이다 라는 뜻입니다> When I was in a high school student, I concerned about my bad score. I got nervous because i I failed the entrance exam. Moreover, staying in home alone made me desperate. But, However in school, my friends told me interesting stories. This made me forget my concerns for a moment. <되도록이면 but 으로 문장을 시작하지 말아주세요. But 대신에 사용할 수 있는 유의어를 사용하시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다>
Another equally important reason is that it is difficult to obtain various solutions when spending time alone. while When every a person is alone, only limited ideas are appeared would appear. However, spending time with friends is easy a good way to get various methods, because they are have similar age, thier their concerns are same. So, he/she can relieve stress by accepting their ideas that they have experienced. Whenever, I face some problems in my life, my friends always has have given me the best answers to solve the problems. For example, studying toefl TOEFL was the biggest challenge in my life. 은 약자 이기 때문에 다 대문자로 표시 해주셔야 합니다> I wanted to give up. But my friends motivated me to not give up and informed me with their studying methods. Thanks to them, I was able to keep studying.
Looking at all the statements above, there are many reasons to be considered, but at the end of the day, I would rather ask my friends when I was am stressful because, bad memories are covered by funny stories and a lot of solutions are presented.
잘 쓰셨습니다. 작은 실수 들이 많은데요, 그런 부분들만 고치시면 더 훌륭한 에세이 될 것 같아요. 그리고 시제를 확실하게 정해주시고 글을 써주세요. 현재 나오다가 갑자가 과거 나오면 이상하니까 꼭 기억해주시고요. (마지막 부분을 참고해주세요) 수고하세요 ^^ |