Recently, a lot of applicants for teacher want to be a teacher who is familiar with students.
However, It can bring about side-effects ; ruining class atmosphere and decreasing students' ability to learn on study. So, I disagree that a teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than the ability to give knowledge.
Some of your sentenses are akward. Don't try to be fancy when you don't know how to be one. stay simple. And try to make your last sentense shorter. It is unnecessarily long.
First of all, a proper class atmosphere to study is required. However, a teacher who are amicable with students can hinder from maintaining it. This is because students who think teacher as friend often cross the boundary which should be kept among them. For example, when I was in middle school, a young and new english teacher would like to be an ideal teacher who is close with students like a friend. She became a good friend to students at all, but not a qualified one. Because she always had to spend almost half an hour of class to make students calm down, and it resulted that she could not lead classes.
Careful with the grammer mistakes! and just using simillar vocabularies isn't going to make your sentence more smarter. Words such as 'hinder' was used akwardly in this case. You also should try simplifiing your sentenses as well. For wxample, your second sentence could have been simply - "This happens when students gets too comfortable with their teacher and in worse cases, they somtimes lose boundaries".
Secondly, a teahcer should be a person who regards teaching as the first, not relating with students. So, a teacher who are mainly concerned with students' affection can decrease their ability to learn. This is because teacher's main purpose is to convey their knowledge to students and lead them to succed in both their further studies and employment in future. For example, my friend always had a trouble in math. So, she consulted with her math teacher even though she was not in a good relationship with him, and he helpd her as much as possible he can. So, she became to have confidence on math, and decided to major it because of his devoute help as teacher's duty albeit they were not close ordinarily.
Still akward phrases... but it's good that you have used both the details and examples to your reasonings. However, there are some small gaps between the logic of first three sentences. Moreover, your explanation of the example was too long-it shows that you were lost at the end STAY FOCUSED by STAYING SIMPLE!
Even though a familiar teacher with students also can be a good teacher, it also follows some negative effects that a class atmosphere can be destroyed and students can be discouraged to learn. So, I think it is a better teacher who can lead students to maintain main proper class atmopshere and also encourage students to study.
Your second idea was not paraphrased well. They seem like two distinctive ideas..beware of that. And you ended with repeating your thesis again. Which probably is not recommended....;; |