It is often said that working slowly to make it perfectly is important because it allows people to avoid significant risks by precise management. However, in my point of view, a rapid work is necessary in today’s world for two reasons: to follow the stream of modern society-> to follow the quickly changing trend of modern society and to maximize the profit of company.
First of all, speedy works provide us to follow the society trend and stream. It is obvious that these days the changing speed of social trends such as technology deveopment and social issues have increased by geometric progression-> exponentially. In order to survive this society’s atmosphere, despite it is sometimes risky-> despite its risk, speedy working process is required for the adaptation of the society’s aptness.-> ? For example, UG which is one of cellular phone companies in our company, this company has sought the perfect product to avoid risks. On the other hand, Samsung try to work quickly to adapt the technology trend. As a result, unlike UG’s product which went through the failure, although the products of Samsung have some small drawbacks, his products become the world best. This implies that the speedy work is good way to survive in the unstable world.-> 이거 예시가 논리성이 많이 부족해보이네요 :) 생각이 안날땐 당연한 얘기를 하셔도 되요. plan carefully하면 실패를 덜하지만 오래걸릴것이고 빨리빨리하면 실패는 많이하지만 그래도 빨리수정하기때문에 좋을것이다 이런식으로요. 그리고 관련해서 예시를 만드시는것도 좋겠지요.
In addition, rapid work helps company profit to maximize-> to maximize profit. It is undeniable that these days most of works is divided into many specific tasks to increase the amount of production. Therefore, each task should be performed quickly and the wasting time created on each task should be reduced effectively to trigger the maximum profit. For instance, Toyota, automobile manufacture company, have improved many factors which were main cause delaying the manufacuring time in assembly line for speedy work. So, the time consumption was dramatically decreased. Consequently, the company's profit was maximized. This perspective presents that the speedy work is effective to increase the company’s gain.
-> 논거는 좋지만, 업무분담이라는 주제에서 speedy work is effective 라는 주제로 이어주기까지의 연결과정이 좀더 필요할것 같습니다.
In brief, working quickly is beneficial due to the adaptation of modern society changed very quickly and the profit maximization of business companies.