▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that the automobile, especially our cars, has given have gave tremendous damage to nature environment thus it can be said that the automobile mostly brings a chaos. However, if we focus more on our comfortable life, than people cannot easily says that those are the disaster for two main reasons: 1. the automobile makes available our complex and busy routine, and with its help, people are able to develop cities.
1. 주장하고자 하는 바가 분명하게 드러나지 않습니다. 문맥상으로는 바쁜 일상을 편리하게 만들었다는 의미가 아닐까 생각됩니다. The automobile makes our complex and busy life easier/cozier~
The chief argument for my inclination is that every day, people take advantages of the automobiles (for the routines). As daily schedules of people are were much more complicated than the past, people should live in busy thus(,) people use cars for making their life easier (or people use cars for surviving in hectic life) the automobile make it possible. For example, 1. whether there is no such automobile in our daily lives, it would be not good as now where the automobiles exist. 2. This is because due to internet connection, people abstractly communicate fast but physically, people never move that fast so they might be frustrated with laziness of wagon or some stuffs that move by houses since the automobile's meaning that run without houses. So, people have to wait for long time for something that already known through the internet. To be specific, you ordered the books for next semester in a college and the books will arrive several months after, and what if you have in one month to another place for some reasons. The books would lose in the middle of the ways. This shows that the automobiles assuredly help our lives very fit into today's society.
1. 무슨 말인지 이해하기 어렵습니다.
2. 앞 문장이 이해가 되지 않아서인지, 왜 갑작스레 internet 이야기를 서술하셨는지도 이해가 잘 되지 않습니다. 글의 개요를 먼저 만들어보시고 언급하신 내용이 반드시 필요한 것인지 생각해볼 필요가 있습니다. ^^
Another important aspect of this is development (of what?). As the 21century has begun, people have needed more cities for managing increasing population 1. and this was possible because of the automobiles. Whether If there is was no such thing, people would fail to meet the demand of people's habitation and it might bring a chaos. This is due to the fact that automobile is primary source of construction (building) since it is used for carrying materials and because it needs to carry the materials that in needs also some specialized automobiles for constructions such as cranes or dump truck are efficient tool for building faster works done more fast. For example, when I was in army, my comrade and I had to dig the ground for setting the huge stage but there were no such cranes to dig it because our troops located in middle point of the mountain and the roads were frozen therefore(,) we dig with the shovels and it took seven hours. Meanwhile on the other hand, the other troop, which located under the mountain, they used called the crane and finished it within 25 minutes. As it shows Like this if there is no automobiles, many people might not live in apartment rather in hand-made house.
1. 여기서의 this 가 인구의 증가인가요, 아니면 city 의 필요 증대인가요? 어느 것이냐에 따라서 문장을 더 분명하게 바꿀 수 있을 것 같네요.
In conclusion, people should thank to the automobile for helping us to live in busy life and making it possible to create cities for many people of how if make our busy lives possible, and make possible to create cities for many people.
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