It is often said that being successful plays a pivotal role in being happy as it has no stress. My view, however, is that when people fail they need to have an optimistic view and being happy for two main reasons: through a positive viewpoint, people can develop in order not to -> in order to not fail again and change failures to another chances.
To begin with, people can develop with-> develop an optimistic view in failure-> about failure. It is common that people go through failure such as a rejection from collages, companies, and blowing up business-> business collapse. At this time, if people stay in disappointment, there would be no development in life-> no development in life 하면 그냥 일반적인 인생 그자체를 의미하므로 정확한 뉘앙스를 사용하여야 합니다 - no development in future life 하시던지 in the future. Thus, even if failures, with an optimistic view of life, individuals try to nurture themselves.-> 말이 안되는 문장이네요. 제가보기에 이렇게하면 이렇게 된다 하시려고 한것 같은데 맞나요? :) 여기서도 마찬가지로 with하면 그냥 ~와 함께라는 의미이므로 Thus, even failures, (even if failures는 failures가 ~이더라도 라는 의미이므로 틀립니다) if combined with an optimistic view and if individuals try to nurture themselves for betterment, 인과관계로 전개를 하시기로 선택하셨기때문에 이어줘야 합니다 그리고 어쩔수없이 if if if 이렇게 나오게되는데 앞으로는 문장구조를 잘 잡아서 전개방식을 이렇게 반복적인 구조가 나오지 않도록 전개하시는 것이 좋겠습니다. It would result in success-> Then it will result in success. For example, my friend, John, experienced blowing his business up and lost his all money he had earned. However, reflecting his work and having a positive view made him to overcome failure and raise his business again. On the other hand, Soo, one of my best friends, was rejected by university entrance-> not accepted to a university where she really wanted to get. It discouraged her so much, she felt pessimistic in life, and finally gave collage entrance up-> gave up going to college(a아닙니다:). This shows that how an optimistic view work out and make individual to develop in a better way.
In addition, through a positive view people can have other chance when they fail. It is obvious that stress devastates individual's health not only physically but also mentally, and losing health gets worse in situation. Therefore, it is important for people to have an optimistic view in failure, and which allows people to have other chances. According to an article reported by the Korean Daily Newspapers in 2007, most successful celebrities experienced adversities in life. At first they suffered from-> from being stressed out, trying to overcome it with a positive view. As a result, they met another chance, leading to a current successful position. This implies that failures are common to people, and thus people need to change hardships into changes through an optimistic view of life.-> 1번 문단과 비슷한 내용이네요. 문제를 끝까지 다 안적으신것같아 평가는 못하겠으나 두가지 논거가 생각났을때 확실하게 구분이 안지어지고 애매하다 싶으면 수준있게 연결하실 수 있는 이상은 다른각도에서 또다른 논거들을 생각해보심이 좋습니다 :) |