안녕하세요 미겔입니다 아직 잘 살아있다죠 ㅎㅎ ...
요새 다른 공부좀 하느라구 ㅠㅠ 시간이 없었네요 ㅋㅋㅋ
제목에 제닉넴이 써져 있는거보고 부랴부랴 첨삭했습니다 ㅠㅠ
It is often said that a teacher is more important the ability to relate with students than the ability to teach(it is more important for a teacher to have the ability to relate with students than the ability to teach). Some people might agree (with) this statement because teachers who (understand) their students well understand can share students’ troubles and provide proper advice. However, I disagree that a teacher are required(requires) more ability to relate with students than ability to teach knowledge for two reasons:(.) These days, teachers' prestige become(is) decreasing and most students are more familiar with friends than their teachers.
To begin with, recently(,) teacher’s prestige is decreasing more and more because parents’ excessive love to(for) their children threatens teacher’s prestige by monitoring and interrupting teacher’s all behaviors. Besides, this phenomenon has a negative effect on children as childeren(children)(particularly elementary) students, make(become) rude and selfish by imitating their parents. Eventually, students(,) like their parents(,) have become ignoring(to ignore) their teacher. Let’s take some news on TV for(as an) example. A few days ago, I watched terrible news on my Internet TV. There are(were) some students and a teacher. (The) students directly touch(ed) their teacher’s chest who is(was) woman and (the) other student takes(took) pictures (of) it. Even they are smile,(they were even smiling) but the teacher seems(seemed) embarrassed. This became critical news and people have be(been) concerned about students’ politeness for(respect to) teacher(s). Thus, teacher(s) should be more restrictive(strict) to their students.
Also, most of the students are more familiar with their friends because they spend a lot of time with friends than a teacher(s). A teacher’s ability to relate with students is less important than friends. Instead, they should usher their students into a right way by teaching lots of basic knowledge such as about ethic(s), morals, or courtesy. According to the magazine which researched students’ opinion about teachers’ counsel role in 2008(a magazine which featured a research in 2008 about students’ opinion of teachers’ role as counselors), a lot of students feel(felt) uncomfortable when they talk(talked) with teachers and they often honestly don’t(did not) say their problems to teacher(s). Thus, teachers should more efficiently teach their students a basic knowledge at class (more efficiently) that helps students to be able to determine (which is) correct or non-correct(not) on(regarding) one’s own rather than doing effort to relate with their students. So, I think that the ability to share their knowledge is more important.
In short, a teacher needs the ability to share knowledge efficiently. Students often tend to ignore their teachers and get along with friends more closely. Besides, they don’t like frankly talking their troubles with a teacher. Thus, I can say that a teacher should be restrictive to keep their prestige and think (of) a way to share knowledge more efficiently.
Prestige -> authority로 바꾸시는게 더 자연스러울 것 같습니다 ㅠㅠ