▶ Your Answer :
It
is debatable whether people should have ambitious goals in life or pursue
realistic aspirations. This is an intriguing question because opinions
concerning this issue can be different relying on the individual perspective.
In my opinion, however, I support that it is important for people to have
realistic goals for the following two reasons.
First
and foremost, people who have feasible goals give up less than people with
ambitious ones. In fact, there is a big difference between where we are and
where we should go if goals are unrealistic. Thus, more often than not, it
leads to people stop pursuing their goals. In contrast, if people pursue
realistic aspirations, they will make an effort to achieve their goals to the
end. As an example, I will refer to my own case. When I was in high school, I
set a goal of solving 100 math problems during 2 hours of self-study time. On
the other hand, my friend, Yejin aimed to solve 30 math problems. What would
have been the result? I gave up since it was a problem of an amount I could not
handle but my friend solved it steadily.
On top of that, people can meet with good
results if their goals are visible. This means that if goals are realistic,
individuals put extra effort. This is because most people know that they can achieve
their goals as much as they try. Therefore, they are interested in the process
of gaining their purposes and consequently tend to work harder, so they can get
good results. For instance, I will give you an example of my sister’s story. My
sister studied in high school with the goal of entering Busan National University,
not Seoul National University, the best national university in Korea. Getting
into Busan National University was possible for her with a steady little more
effort. She enjoyed studying and got as many grades as she wanted because she chose
realistic goals. As a result, she entered the university successfully.
To
sum up, people with realistic aspirations are less likely to give up and can achieve
good results since they exert additional effort when their goals seem feasible.
In this regard, I firmly believe that people should have realistic goals rather
than ambitious ones in life.
마지막 conclusion에서 주장 설명이 조금 더 자세하게 나왔으면 좋았을 것 같아요. 주장자체는 괜찮은데 주장을 문장으로 적으면서 어휘력/표현력이 약간 떨어진 것 같아 아쉽습니다. 두번째 paragraph에 예시가 조금 아쉬운 편입니다. 예시를 적으려면 자세하고 personal하게 적어서 설득력을 높여야하는데 너무 애매하게 끝난 것 같아요. 어휘 공부가 가장 중요한 것 같습니다. 그리고 문장 조금 더 various form으로 적을 수 있도록 영작 연습 더 하는 것도 추천드립니다 |