■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.
■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer
▶ Topic :
Students should not be exposed to teachers’ opinions on social and political issues in class.
▶ Your Answer :
Social and political issues are very sensitive topics to discuss in class. In this regard, there is some disagreement over whether teachers can expose their opinions on social or political matters in class or not. Some people think that teachers can express their thoughts about those topics freely. However, in my opinion, students should not be exposed to any personal opinions of their teachers about debatable political and social matters. The reasons are that a teacher’s opinion may contain wrong information, and students will lack ability of criticizing.
To begin with, students can be exposed to wrong information about politics and society. Of course, teachers have their rights to express their own thoughts about a particular issue at school in front of their students; however, their opinion may be highly biased.(이렇게 반대의견 잠깐 말하고 시작하는 것 좋습니다) It is very common for people to have biased thinking process when it comes to political and social issues. For example, when I was in middle school, my math teacher was a strong supporter of the democratic party. He used to share his own opinion about political situations with us in class. One day, he talked about some rumor about the president of South Korea at that time, and he contended that the rumor was actually true. However, it turned out that the rumor was a fake news, which results in my parents and my classmates to be extremely mad. Consequently, my math teacher resigned from his position because of strong complaints from parents of students, and the school set up the rule that teachers should not expose their opinions on social and political issues. It has a big impact on students when teachers deliver incorrect information to their students at school.
Furthermore, exposure to teacher’s political opinions can lack students’ ability to establish their own thoughts. Students tend to believe that teachers are always right and their words are all trustworthy. If a teacher expresses his personal view, not only would students simply agree with him, but they would also think that as a fact and not try to build up their own thoughts on the issue. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was having a conversation with my old friend Kim, she was so certain that we should not wear masks during this pandemic situation. I was very puzzled, because with a lot of scientific evidence, I was the one who believed that wearing masks can actually prevent us from the virus. She was strongly against wearing masks in our daily lives, and this was because her english teacher had said so in class. My friend did not have a personal specific reason of her claim, but she was just following her english teacher’s opinion. Based on my experience, students are still young to see things objectively; therefore, it is not a good idea to let students get exposed to a teacher’s political stance and opinion.
To sum up, students are likely to be exposed to fake news or biased perspective easily from their teacher. Also, exposure to teachers’ personal opinions has a negative effect on building students’ viewpoint. In this regard, I firmly believe that teachers should not express their opinions on political and social matters at school.
에세이 아주 잘 쓰셨습니다.
전체적으로 주장의 point도 아주 깔끔하고 주장 설명도 정말 잘 되었습니다.
그리고 어휘도 적절하게 잘 사용한 부분 많이 보입니다.
문장적인 오류나 문법적인 오류는 거의 없는 편이고 문장 간 연결도 자연스러운 편입니다.
kim+마스크 예시 아주 적절하게 잘 나와서 주장 back up도 좋았습니다
어휘나 연결사 조금 더 보완하면 실전에서도 정말 좋은 점수 받을 수 있을 거라 생각합니다