> > 2010-05-29 13:19:03, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic :
It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. | |
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There is an ongoing debate exists about whether a large shopping center should be built in my neighborhood. Some people say that building a large shopping mall does not need is not necessay and even harmful for in their neighborhood as it can cause traffic congestion. Of course, constructing a large shopping mall in my neighborhood provides people with has negative aspects, but they cannot outweigh the benefits of it(=constructing a large shopping mall, 한번 더쓰면 너무 반복적이라 대명사로 ..) building a large shopping mall adjacent to my town due to the fact that it enables people to save time when they are shopping and help local economy grow.
To begin with, building a large shopping center in my neighborhood helps people save time when shopping. It is no secret that a large shopping mall has many different items in diverse fields. Its many different shops offer convenience and this is what attract the large number of people to the mall. Once people can go complex, they can buy various kind of items regardless of whatever they want to buy. Thus, they do not have to visit here and there reduce a waste of time when they buy something. For example, when I was a student, my town only had a small shops scattered everywhere downtown. market. So if I wanted to buy a few items colorful item, I should had to go to one shop to buy a single item, then walk few blocks to go to another shop, and repeat this several times. outside my town. It made me annoying because our town had no good transportation system. I always spent many hours each day purchasing products that I needed. Therefore, a mall which combined many different stores into one big building should be convenient for people in the neighborhood.
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결론은 시간없어서 못썼어요... 30분안에 쓰려고했지만..한 40분걸리네요... 어휘력도 넘 부족해서
저는 enable 이런 표현을 마니 쓰는데... 이거를 대용할수있는 좋은 표현 또 없을까요?? help make 말구..;ㅎ..
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make ~~ possible
let
allow
반대로 쓰는건 어떨까요
local people can enjoy their lives more.
이럴땐 능동으로 쓰는게 더좋을것같아요 :)
그리고 몇점정도나올까요? 15점은 넘을까요??? 제가 쓰신 글을 보시면서 제가 공부방법을 어떡해 했으면 좋겠다라는..
것을... 약간이라도 제시해주시면 정말감사할껏같아요..혼자해서요 ㅠㅠ
15점 조금 넘거나 그정도 나올거 같은데, 결론은 시간이 없어서 안쓰신건가요?.. 다양한 문장쓰는 연습을 하셔야 될것 같아요. ~~는 ~~하다 ~~는 ~~하게 한다 이런식의 문장 구조가 반복적으로 나오는 경향이 있어요 ! 예문쓰는 연습많이 하시구, 또 이야기가 다른 방향으로 약간 세요.. 시간재면서 하기전에, outline먼저쓰고, 어떤 example을 쓸것인가 글의 개요를 짠다음에 글을 쓰는 식으로 연습해보세요 :)