> > 2010-05-30 23:15:26, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
시간 제한 없이 쓴 글입니다. 구조랑 표현 좀 봐 주세요.
■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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Topic :
People with different personalities and interest cannot be friends with each other. | |
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It is often said that people with different personalities and interests will have a hard time to get along with each other. This is because they are likely to be faced with conflicts between them, thus might ruin the relationships their relationships might be alienated. Even though the several differences might hinder from building a close good relationship, it has might also offer various benefits that we can beat the drawbacks for the following two reasons: sharing different experiences and improving their social skills.
To begin with, people with different dispositions and favors can share their experience, which will be beneficial for them. Some people can say that sharing common interests between friends would be good enough(추가) because it makes them comfort and ease. However, when people only exchange share similar and familiar (시밀러,패밀리어 둘중 하나만 써주세요^^)interests to with others, they are likely to get boring, depriving(표현이 갑자기 쎄서 어색해요.) opportunities to obtain a variety of information and experiences by not making friends who have different interests. For example, when I was in a high school, I had a friend who had a same pastime and hobby. We both enjoyed watching Japanese animations and admired same singer and actor. So We always went to anywhere were partner of joys and sorrows, and spent most of our the time in talking about these common things. However, with so many repetitions, we got tired of taking about same topic every day, thus the time to chat with her had gradually diminished and drifted apart from each other. (단순과거에요. 그냥 diminished.)
In addition (In addition을 쓰시면 바로 위의 내용과 연결됩니다.) Secondly, we can improve social skills by meeting diverse people, which is one of the most significant steps the key to success. If we just get along with people who have a commonalities, (콤마하고 주어가 없네요^^;) it prevent us from dealing with conflicts between different people, and this conflict that manage skills is essential for people in the modern complex society. According to a survey conducted(conduct 좀 어색하네요. 문법은 맞으니, 다른단어로 바꿔주세요) by the Ministry of Education of Korea in 2008 said that the more experiences in multicultural circumstances a that students have the are better at in solving problems in difficult situations they run into. Furthermore, the students who are equipped to with the competence distinguished abilities are likely to succeed in life in the future.(life, the future 둘중 하나만.) This implies that experiences with people who have different personalities and interests allow students to get adept be proficient at handling the various people and even including tricky and demanding people. This can be helpful for them to success. achieve their desire.
In summary, it may be hard to be a friend with people who have a different traits and hobbies, but being friend with people from different cultures and circumstances gives us interesting and valuable chances to share exchange different experiences and improve social skills. Comport and easy going relationship with similar people has advantages.(무슨말인지 감이 안잡히네요;; 문법도 틀리셨구요.) However, I believe that in a relationship, variety and diversity(둘중 하나만요.) ensure more enriched our lives.
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일단, 님은 충분히 길게 쓰셔서 필요없는 문장은 과감히 삭제해도 됩니다. 반복되는 부분이 많구요, the 를 많이 쓰시는경향이 있는데 쓸때와 안쓸때가 있습니다.
그리고 주어도 가끔 없어서 제가 당황했고.. 콤마 꼭 찍어주셔야되요!!! 콤마찍고 ing 오는건 좀만 더 공부하셔서 자연스럽게 쓸 수 있게 노력하세요. 대체적으로 괜찮네요.
통합형도 이정도 수준으로 썼다는 가정하에 평가하자면 20~23정도 나올듯합니다.