> > 2010-05-28 00:59:04, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic : Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it by going on a vacation than to save your money for some time in the future? | |
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For quite as long as I can rememver remember, people have debated whether it is better to enjoy your money when you earn it by going on a vacation than to save your money for some time in the future.
Even though the jury is still out, I strongly believe that it is better to save your money than to enjoy your money. The rationale behind this is that you can enjoy your money to do more valuable things in the future.
Moreover, you can enjoy vacation without money and feel the same level of enjoyment.
First of all, you can enjoy your money to do more valuable things by saving it in the future
Even though some people says that the vacation is necessary for people to break a time from busy daily routine. However, it is more reasonable to contend that we can do other valuable things by saving money in the future. Take my case as an example, when I was a middle school student, I always did a part time job and saved some money because I thought that 'from beginnings came great things'.
One day, suddenly, my father's businees was bankruted bankrupted, so he needed a lot of money. In this sense, life is impossible to predict what will happen to you, so saving money is nessecary necessary to live. (예시가 아버지가 파산하고 돈이 필요했다하고 끝내버리면 이상한것같아요, 얘기의 끝맺음은 지어주시고 소결론으로 가야할 것같아요)
Additionaly, you can go the vacation without money and feel the same level of enjoyment.
Even though a lot of money make people happy, I strongly believe that money is not related to level of enjoyment.
According to a research conducted by Korean National Research Center, more than two-thirds of surveyed respondents mentioned that they don't need money to travel because they can diverse experiences without money. In fact, domestic travel is very cheap and includes interesting place(attractions) such as remains. In this sense, I always maintain that.
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아. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
항상 시간이 모자라네요 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 결론을 못맺고 항상 이렇게 두번째바디 쓰다가 시간이 갑니다
현실적으로 저렇게 쓰면(시간 재서 썻어요) 몇점 정도 나오나요 ?
** ^^ 시간내에 다 못써도 점수가 나와요, 저도 예전에 ibt처음 볼때 다 못썼는데도, 20점대 나왔었어요.
다쓰면 좋겠지만, 그렇지 못하더라도 기본적인 문법 오류없고, 내용좋으면 점수 줍니다. ^^
철자 확인 꼭꼭 해주셔야해요**